Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Our end is here

Maybe not the right title. Then again, maybe it is.

I blogged awhile back about our hope to donate our embryos. While I would have loved to potentially have an open relationship with whoever adopted them, the time and energy to move them, and find someone, was just more than I can do with how much we have going on in our life. At the end of the day, I'm thrilled that they won't be destroyed, but are continued to be looked after by the best lab in the country and are currently on a list for hopeful would-be-parents that are at the end of their infertility journey and this is their only remaining option. While I definitely had a good cry over this, it was right for us. They have a chance of life. And that gives me peace.

I know donating embryos that we worked so hard for is very difficult for some people to imagine. But remember, our family is here because of not one, but two incredibly amazing people that donated themselves or pieces of themselves to make us parents. Third party reproduction is how we came to be a family of 5. So if I can give my remaining three embryos a chance at life, and help other couples the same way I was helped, how is that not a win-win for me in a really amazing way? Dr. G at CCRM also said that while the program is anonymous, he is also willing to inform me when they are adopted and let me know if there is a successful pregnancy. Again, this makes me happy. Just knowing.

I also, obviously don't blog like I used to. I don't text and email with friends the way I used to either. Life is chaos. Crazy, amazing, busy, and exhausting, but wonderful chaos. So something has to give. I have to be present in the moment with my three babes, because unlike the folks that spread their children out by, you know, a year or so, I have to do it right the first time, have no regrets. No do overs.

So I miss talking to all of you. I miss the updates, I miss the comments, and just the relationships I shared from this journey. I think of all of you so often, and I'm thankful that I still get to follow along with a lot of you on social media. I will not close this blog. I've had too many people find it helpful. A lot of my issues were rare and didn't have a lot of information out there. It makes me happy to be a resource to others. And I still welcome the emails that occasionally come to me from women that are in search of answers in DOR or Asherman's Syndrome, Donor Eggs and Surrogacy.

From time to time, I will try to post updates about our little family. I'm proud of them. So I enjoy sharing how we're doing. I also have topics from time to time that I may post about. It just may not be often. (i.e. extended breastfeeding and sleep consults are kind of in the works right now, so may make a good future post.)