Friday, April 17, 2015

Sometimes It Just Fits

Ever get the feeling that somethings just fit? Are literally meant to be on so many levels? 

My husband and I are definitely meant to be. After almost 14 years together (married and not) I have no doubts about that. We fit. 

My best friend. It was an immediate connection. For 10 years, we've been by each other's side for times of sadness and times of triumph. We fit.

When we met Kelly and her family last summer and the communication that followed, I knew that things felt right. But in my wildest imagination I never thought I could connect with someone on this level. But we do. We fit. 

What makes our story even better, is that with all of the kindness and love that is surround everyone involved in our journey, there are even more and more people that are adding their piece to our puzzle and just "fit". 

Kelly had her 20 week OB appointment today and all went great. Dr. Bradford was so very reassuring. He knew I was concerned since the MFM appointment and the echogenic bowel diagnosis. It was hard not being there in person. This was the first doctors appointment that I've missed. I can't be at them all, I know this. But to have such support for Kelly and me...I know that we are in good hands. We fit. 

I will always look back on my infertility and the years of struggles as a dark moment in my life. It's hard not to, we had a lot of loss and a lot of challenges.  I'll never really beat infertility. I'm forever an infertile. That doesn't mean I'm not overcoming it. 

This life. This journey. It just fits. 


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Breathe

That's what she told me to do. Just a few minutes ago. Just breathe.

Results came in and no sign of a virus.

Maybe sometimes you just have to say your worries out loud. Or in my case write the worries. I'm a pretty even keel person, but sometimes my anxieties can take over. Not without good reason I guess, we've been through a lot to get to this point.

I especially just want to thank Kelly. For being the voice that brings calm to my heart and for giving the doctors a little push to finally give us an answer.



Her next OB appointment is Friday. I'm hoping he can shed a little light on the MFM's findings. And...we'll be 20 weeks.


Seriously, cutest little twin bump ever. :)





Hanging on by a thread

I'm struggling a little this week and I can't seem to find the words for my blog. So rather than worry over the "what if's", I'm just going to post what brings a smile to my face. 

Here are some of my favorite pictures from our trip to Texas a few weeks ago and let them speak for themselves...




Babies were the size of sweet potatoes!

Pretty sure I was replaced by none other than my husband with this little guy

It may look like I was replaced in her eyes, but truth be told, I'm still her favorite. :)

Pretty Ella

This girl rocks. Best big surro sister ever.

Taylor, Me & Ella
Love these girls

And finally...my boys...

Baby A


Baby B

Don't take my lack of words for something is wrong. K's blood was taken for the virus screening of CMV, Parvovirus & Toxoplasmosis last Monday. They told us they would have results in 5 days. I've pretty much kept it in the back of my mind up until this week. The combination of being crazy busy at work and things around the house seemed to make it pretty easy to get through last week. That was until this week when the results still aren't in...or something. They couldn't even find her file yesterday which could mean it's with the nurse or doctor...but still...that was 24 hours ago...and still no call. 

So I'm just nervous. So I'm waiting. Thinking all kinds of worse case scenarios. 

Or maybe I'm just sad cause I miss being in Texas, cause I'm pretty sure that's where my heart is...not just with my twin boys, but with K and her family.


Friday, April 3, 2015

Anatomy Scan - 18 Weeks

I've got lots to write about our visit to Texas; but this will just be a quick "round one" update...

We're still in Texas and still just enjoying our time with K and her family. But I need to let you guys know what's going on.

First, K's urine test came back normal last week and her blood pressure yesterday was normal. So hopefully the high reading was simply a fluke and we won't need to worry about that anymore!

What we did find out yesterday is that both babies have echogenic bowels. Google with caution as that's done nothing but scare the crap out of me.

The good news...most of the time, the fetuses turn out to be completely normal and fine.

The other causes that are definitely "less good" are:

Cystic Fibrosis
The fetus swallowing blood following an intra-amniotic bleed
A viral infection - CMV, Toxoplasmosis, Parovirus
A bowel obstruction
Chromosome abnormalities, like Trisomy 21
Intrauterine Growth Restriction

Here are the facts.

- Egg donor AND T were genetically tested prior to our egg donors cycle and neither is a carrier of CF.

- We did the Progenity Verifi chromosome testing at week 12 and it came back normal.

So what is this and how is it that both babies have it? K is having blood work done to test for the viral infections. The doctor seemed to not really be worried about this. In fact, I've become much more worried by googling, than by our conversation at the MFM office because it seemed he was more inclined to think that things were most likely fine. All other measurements looked great and were right on track. The doctor didn't even feel an amnio was necessary, which actually relieved me. I would prefer not to go that route.

So for all my knowledgable friends out here, I'd love your thoughts. What do you think? Especially with the testing we've done and the fact that it's both, which just seems so strange to me.