Wednesday, July 12, 2017


I never thought anyone would make my heart flutter the way my husband does.

And then I met my sons. Their giggles, laughs, kisses and even there general every day shenanigans
simply light up my world.

The past two years have been a blur. I still can't believe that they are mine. That for the rest of my life, I get to see who and what they will become. I'm honored to be there mom.

And I'm thankful for the women that gave them to me. Goose, our egg donor and of course, Kelly, who carried them when I couldn't. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of these women and say a simple prayer of gratitude for the amazing gift they have given me.

Britton is our shy, sweet, meticulous little problem solver. He's 28 pounds of love. Casey is the 29 pound instigator of all things trouble. And has the laugh and smile to go with it, to make it absolutely impossible to be stern.

These boys are my world. And on Saturday, they turn two.

Happy Birthday Britton & Casey! 

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

My Breastfeeding Journey

When I was trying so hard to become pregnant for all those years, I never really gave a ton of thought to breastfeeding. I knew I wanted to try it. But I really didn't set a lot of expectations. One way or another.

Then Liddy arrived and it just "took". There was no painful latches, cracked or bleeding nipples. It just worked. When she was a month old, I developed a yeast infection nipples which, wasn't a ton of fun, but we treated it, and moved on. I made it to 6 weeks, then 3 months, then 6 months of exclusively breastfeeding. Quite frankly, I was amazed at myself.

So we kept going. I decided, might as well shoot for a year. A year came, and a year went. And the breastfeeding continued. She's never slept through the night. She doesn't even sleep in her crib. She doesn't soothe herself to sleep, and usually has to be nursed to sleep at night. And you know what? I'm okay with all of that. She is healthy and happy. I love seeing her sweet, sleeping face lying between us at night. There's a day where she won't sleep with us and I know I'll miss it. So for now, it's our normal. It's not for everyone, but it works for us.

So many people have said their babes kinda just weaned themselves around year one. Liddy is pretty adamant about her mama and her mama's "babas". Well, lets be honest, we kinda go together, so not sure which she's really more into. But here we are, knocking on the door of 18 months old and I don't see any signs of her being ready to wean.

I've had in my mind that we'd be done sometime in her second year. I've never imagined that I would be a mom, nursing a toddler. But here I am. But I guess I'm just letting her take the lead on this one. I asked her last night, what she would say if I said "no more babas"? She burst into tears. Point taken, Liddy.

This is all new and different for me. I don't have friends that nursed this long and while no one has said anything to me (friends or family) in a negative way, I know they are somewhat surprised that it's still going.

My breasts went from a 32D to a 32G by week 12 of my pregnancy and they have pretty much stuck there. So, trust me, if she were done, I wouldn't argue. I'll probably be knocking on the door of a plastic surgeon begging for a reduction when it's all over with.

She's the only baby I will ever carry. The only baby I'll ever get to breastfeed. Shouldn't I just try and have as few of regrets as possible during this most precious time in her life?

My littles are quickly approaching 18 months and 2 years old. I know I don't blog often anymore. With three toddlers, the time is just not there anymore. But, I do hope for updates over the next few months, so stay tuned! 

Thursday, February 2, 2017

She's ONE. (yes, I realize this post is almost TWO months late)

I'm long overdue on this post. It's shameful really. I never even did a ONE year post for Liddy. Actually, that's a lie. I started one like twice, but never finished and never posted it. But, the struggle is REAL to actually do anything other than keep three tiny humans alive. And I'm managing that, so we'll call it a win.

My little Liddy Rose. They don't get much sweeter, much happier, and more of a delight than this little one. Our world maybe filled with chaos and very little sleep, but wow, I wouldn't want it any other way, because my world would not be the same without her. Our trio was simply meant to be ours.

Here's what's new with her:

She weighs 19 1/2 pounds and is in the 50th percentile. She started walking around 11 months, and since she's been watching her brothers for so long, once she started, she was really good at it! She currently has 3 teeth, with 2 more about to pop through. She was definitely on the later end on getting teeth, but so was I apparently. Her feet are tiny, well, she's pretty little in general, so I guess that makes sense. She still wears a lot of 6-12 months. Most 12-18 month brands are huge on her. She's just now fitting into some size 3 shoes. Interesting considering how long she's been walking and how hard it is to find shoes with soles smaller than a 4. She says moo, mama, dada and (kinda) tickle. It comes out "ticka ticka ticka" whilst proceeding to tickle us or her brothers. Oh, and she roars. She LOVES books. Probably more than the boys do. At least, she has more patience to sit and finish a book. She still naps 2x a day and sleeps sorta, at night. Mostly in our bed and she nurses 3-4 times per night. Usually for comfort. It's what works for us, so I go with it. She's a happy, healthy baby. She eats fairly well. Maybe not quite like her brothers do, but I can't complain.

I had a lot of emotions going into her 1st birthday. This little girl still astounds me every single day and I struggle to really believe that she's mine. I have from the very beginning. I don't know how or why I was blessed with such an amazing miracle, but from the bottom of my heart I am grateful, every single second of every day.

Here are a few snaps from her "Winter ONEderland" birthday party.

My dearest baby girl. You are so so loved. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2016


I think back over the years of Thanksgivings where I put on a smile, but my heartache never allowed me to fully be "thankful". Of course, I was thankful for Trevor, my family, my friends...but so much was missing. My mom...this was her favorite holiday and she died just one week prior. I also had our first miscarriage on the anniversary of her death. The memory of what we went through that Thanksgiving with two separate D&C's in the same week, is still very vivid.

Last year, our Thanksgiving was amazing. It was just the four of us, with Liddy's arrival just weeks away. And yes, I was thankful beyond measure and so hopeful for our family of five. This year, my heart literally burst with pride and joy. I will always miss my mom on Thanksgiving. But I also try and remember her by carrying on little traditions that were so dear to her heart.

I continue to be grateful for all who made it possible for the blessings we've received. Our egg donor Goose. And especially, my sweet, sweet forever friend and extension of our family, Kelly, her husband and children for carrying our boys. I still hope that one day soon we can do for someone else what they have done for us.

Our Thanksgiving was not without chaos. What day isn't in our household? We had one sick little one. Luckily, it was a 24 hour bug and Casey was back to his old self by Friday.

We're less than 2 weeks away from Liddy's 1st birthday and I have so many emotions right now. Knowing all my babies will be a year and won't be babies anymore. It definitely is tugging at my heart. I'm exited for their next stages, but sad to say goodbye to what's been an amazing year of firsts for us.

A quick update, Liddy AND Britton are walking. Luckily Britton walked a few weeks before her, so he won't have to live with his baby sister walking first for the rest of his life! It was awfully close though. Casey is running. They are all so happy and have such unique personalities.

So yes, I'm thankful. And blessed. And love every crazy, chaotic, insane, and beautiful moment.