Monday, October 5, 2015

The Hardest Goodbye

After almost 12 weeks of spending every minute with my little guys, today was my first day back at work. I'll admit, the anticipation of today over the past week, was probably harder than this morning actually was. Every time I thought about leaving, I cried. This morning, I made it out of the door with just watery eyes and my lip poking out. I'm almost through the day and counting down the minutes to head home.

Our little guys are doing amazing. Growing like crazy, seriously, these guys are some major chubba wubs. See for yourself. We have arm rolls, chubby cheeks and chins for days. I sometimes can't believe they are the same 3 plus pounders we first met in July.


I hope that one day they understand the reasons I had to return to work vs. staying home with them...which I would prefer. Right now I just have a bit of guilt and jealousy. Guilt because I wonder if they are confused by my absence. Jealousy because someone else gets to see their cute smiles and little daily progress of developmental changes. I want that to be me. But for them and for my family, I work. Luckily, my job has agreed to allow me to work from home on Friday's. Once our little girl arrives, I will work from home two days a week. This does help. (a little)

I realized recently that something I haven't blogged about was their birth story. I'm sorry for that. I think it's important that you all here about it. Not just because it's part of our story, but for others that read about the generosity of Kelly. I want everyone to know what she went through to give us these most precious little boys. So stay tuned for that. Expect my blog updates to be a bit more frequent now that I'm officially back on a computer 5 days a week. Forgive me for putting that aside for so long while I enjoyed my time at home with my Casey & Britton. :)

16 comments:

  1. YAY!!!! I'm so glad to hear you made it though your first day. The dread of returning to work is certainly worse than the actual...there will be good days and bad days. Garrison cried for a few days when I dropped him off at daycare. Those days sucked. But there are other days that are good. Somehow it seems to balance. And YAY for work being so supportive and setting up a work from home system. What a HUGE win for you and your family! So, so happy for you. Look at your life...you're a working MOM!!!

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  2. How cute! When I first lsaw that photo, it looked like the boys are snuggling with a stuffed toy moose between them! On closer exam, I realized it's a blankie. So glad you're able to post and I can't wait to hear about baby girl, also.

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    1. Funny. It actually is a big elephant plush chair. :)

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  3. I remember how heart wrenching it was for me to go back to work. I'm glad you had this time with them though and I know they arexwellcared did and can't wait to see you every night. *hugs* they are adorable!

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  4. It's neat how different those boys look, and easy to tell them apart. I don't know how people with identicals do it.
    Is Britton pronounced bry-ton? I have never heard the name before but it's a good one. I like Casey, too.

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    1. Actually it's pronounced Britt-ton. :)

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  5. I'm five weeks away from this moment, it's good to know the anticipation is worse than the event. I'm glad the schedule is going to get a little better going forward. I've been given the okay to go to 4 days in 2016, but I don't know when it will start...

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  6. They will know how loved and wanted they are and they will respect you for always working so hard for them. My husband and his brothers were raised by a mom who always worked and still does, she's the best mom anyone could ever ask for even tho she wasn't able to be home with them. A good mom is a good mom, regardless of whether they work or not and you are a wonderful mom:) They're such beautiful little guys!

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  7. Glad to see you survived going back to work. Im still dreading going back to work. I feel the same way on not being able to see his daily developement :'( They are so cute with those baby rolls.

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  8. Oh I totally agree the anticipation is much worse than actually leaving.

    Your boys look so strong and healthy. I'm looking forward to more updates and to reading the birth story.

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  9. Glad you made it through that first day OK! That will be nice that you get to do 2 days from home once baby girl arrives!

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  10. Thinking of you friend! Guilt and jealousy do NOT belong! They are both lies that the enemy tries to feed you so release yourself from every negative thought like that and know that you are AN AMAZING MOMMA!

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  11. oh what a tough thing to do but so glad you made it through and that your employer is going to let you stay home at least one day a week! Your little boys are just so cute and adorable!!! Precious!!!

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  12. Look how chubby they are :)
    Glad the first day was okay. I also found the anticipation much harder than the day itself. And I totally understand feeling jealous of the person who gets to be with your babies (and probably even paid for it). How nice that you'll be able to do some work from home!

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  13. So glad you made it through your day! I can't wait to hear their birth story!

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  14. Congrats on making it through that first day (and now a few more)! That's so great that you get to work from home on Fridays, and then a second day once baby girl arrives!!! Thats amazing! Those boys are sure adorable! What blessings they are. I can't wait to read about their birth story.

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