My new reality into perimenopause

I literally cannot believe it's been over a year since my last post. Life has been, well, a blur.  A busy, chaotic, blur. And it's been amazing. I'm forever grateful for my three miracles.

I do have an update that relates back to all my infertility though, and for the sake of keeping all my information up to date and accurate to help anyone else out there searching, I'm going to lay it all out here.

My little miracle pregnancy that happened while my gestational carrier was half way through her pregnancy with my egg donor babies, happened in April, 2015. I gave birth at the very end of 2015. Since then, I fed my daughter until her 3rd birthday. I had no periods until I stopped breastfeeding her. I thought that was because of breastfeeding. And I think mostly, it was.

At my annual this year, I had a few complaints. Bloating, feeling down, hot flashes, difficulty sleeping, etc. I receive an ultrasound yearly to do a little looksie at my uterus and ovaries due to my increased risk of ovarian cancer. What they found was my lining looked very thick. Odd, since that was the opposite of my infertility days. They scheduled a d&c to take a look and to remove any thick tissue that could become cancerous. What they found, was that it was the opposite of thick. It was actually scar tissue from top to bottom. So basically, my uterus looks as bad if not worse than it always had. My doctor told me if he had seen my uterus before my pregnancy, he too, would have suggested the use of a gestational carrier.

He also ran a few tests. We tested my FSH. Just to go back a few years it was always between 10 and 18 between 2013-2015. It's now 51. Which confirms that I am in perimenopause. I mean, I'm 41. So it's on the young side, but with my diminished ovarian reserve. This is what we expected, no?

What this did tell me. Was to be grateful. Truly, from deep in my soul, grateful for my miracles. All of them. But especially of Liddy. Because she did come to me from my crappy eggs. And my equally crappy uterus managed to carry her practically full-term (only 3 days shy). In he end, my body did what I dreamed it would. And I'm at peace that this old body of mine, at least from the reproductive point of view, is hanging up it's hat for good.

Because. Miracles. Happened.