Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I get to SEE them.

Well I had written a post last night, then went to edit it on my phone, and accidentally deleted it. So...I'm starting from scratch.

What's most important is...I'm currently 10,000 feet in the air, headed to Texas. I'm leaving the 0 degree temperatures in Indianapolis, and going to enjoy a bit of the "cold front" that South Texas is dealing with. A balmy 55 degree high today. I may have packed my flip flops for this very occasion. But that's still not the gist of this post. I'm heading to South Texas to see Kelly and my babies. For the first time IN person.

Last Friday, Kelly went to get a 4d ultrasound. It was amazing. The amount of pictures and video that I was able to see was simply overwhelming. We officially have little legs. What a beautiful sight to see. There little heartbeats are so strong. What more could I ask for at this point?

As of 11w1d

On Saturday I received a call from CCRM. Kelly has officially graduated from their care. Her body has completely taken over and she is completely done with her pills, suppositories and injections. Much to her relief, no doubt about it.

Tomorrow morning we are going together to her first OB appointment. I'm excited to see the babies on that ultrasound screen in person. Not through video or pictures, but right there in front of me. I'm excited to meet the doctor, to ask questions, for them to see that I'm a real person, and going to be a mother.

I'm thrilled to see Kelly. To give her the biggest hug ever. It's the first time I'll have seen her since we left Denver after her transfer. I get to see her tiny little bump. Cause believe me, it's tiny. Even at almost 12 weeks with twins, she's itty bitty.

I still have little moments that I remember that I'm not getting to experience this pregnancy myself, and I won't pretend that it doesn't hurt sometimes. The little things like, what would my cravings be like? The looks when I say that we're having twins, and people automatically look for a bump. And I follow up with, "Well, we're using a surrogate". But not much and not for long. Because the joy I feel in my heart is way to big to allow that kind of sadness and hurt to stick around for long. I'm grateful for that.

I know that this is my time for happy. And I am. I really, really am.





22 comments:

  1. How exciting!! I can't wait to hear how it goes!!

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  2. I am just so thrilled for you! I have been following your blog since 2012 and anxiously await your updates.. I have twin girls via donor eggs who are the loves of my life :) Can't wait to hear the genders.. You guys are going to be amazing parents and are sooo deserving of all the happiness coming your way!!!

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  3. I am crazy happy for you. Crazy happy.

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  4. Can't wait to hear ALL about your appointment!!!! Hope you have a great trip and a wonderful time seeing your babies!

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  5. Amazing! Simply amazing! So very very uber happy for you! I have happy tears for sure. Kelly is a wonderful human being! As are you!

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  6. What a long but amazing journey you've been on. So excited for you!

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  7. I have been reading your blog and cheering you on from the sidelines for a long time. I am just SO excited, overjoyed and so darn grateful for this joy in your life. God heard the answers to all of us pleading on your behalf. And He said....."Yes". Hooray!!!!

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  8. Oh I love this!! I got to see the boys like this at 6 weeks in 3d but yours are way cuter and way more developed at 11. OMG Suzanne just wait about the jealous looks you get when you are walking around all skinny mini once you have them in your arms!! I have gotten so many compliments on how great I look after having twins lol ;) I usually thank them but then confess. I get what you mean about the sad waves of not carrying them, but you are so right, the happiness and joy that continues to grow will soon wipe that out <3

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  9. My entire body is covered in goosebumps because you deserve this SO much!

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  10. They are perfect, absolutely perfect.

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  11. Yay!!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!

    http://ttcaftertr.blogspot.com/

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  12. For some reason I don't see ur post in my thread. But I am extremely happy for u!! I hope everything goes well at the appt.

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  13. Ahhhh! If I'm beaming over this, then I can't even imagine how you must feel mama!! Xo

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  14. LOVE! And I love that you are so postive, so thankful, and always looking at the bright side. This is not the path you would have chosen but you roll with it with so much grace. So happy for you sweet girl.

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  15. That is so awesome!!!! I hope you have an amazing experience.

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  16. I'm so thrilled about your happy news. Twins! Congratulations momma and I'm loving all the blog loving you're getting on others blogs too. -Thin lining girl!

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  17. I'm feeling really emotional today and this post made me cry. I am so glad the happiness overshadows the feelings of loss. When you get those two little ones in your arms, all the pain and hurt of infertility will be behind you. Hugs.

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