Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Update Before the Update

I know I've kind of left things hanging a bit since my last post at the start of my mock cycle. I will most definitely be posting the results of my lining check on Thursday. But I've had so many sweet texts, emails and comments, wishing me well, that I wanted to do a quick update now. Just so you know, all of you wonderful women are my life-line through all of this. Your caring words and prayers and the fact that you simply think of me so often, means so much.

The medications haven't been bad. The first several days I had some pretty nasty headaches, but my body has since acclimated, and I'm feeling much better. My boobs on the other hand, HURT! But hey, that kind of goes with the territory with this much estrogen pumping through my body. And if anyone is wondering…Viagra suppositories FOUR times a day…is really gross. And messy. And gross.

They checked my E2 levels last Wednesday and they were 1634. That was after one week on the Estrace and Vivelle patches. The nurse said it needed to be over 50. Well mission accomplished. That wasn't something I was concerned about, since my last mock cycle my E2 reached over 3400. What I have been reading is those very high levels can sometimes saturate the lining. So of course, I'm concerned about that, among other things.

Thursday morning, my appointment is at 7:30 am. At 9:00 am, I have to pick up my Dad and Step-mom at the airport for a weekend visit. I am not very open about my fertility journey with them. So I'll have a very short window in which I can recover if this goes badly. So hopefully, I can get some good news and can enjoy our weekend. Even though another mock cycle is possible, I can't help but think, if my lining is still around 3mm, that's going to be a bit of foreshadowing, how how my journey will end.

I'm doing my best to stay positive. I've been doing my Fertility Yoga (thank you, Danielle) and acupuncture 2 times per week. I've done castor oil packs almost nightly since my period ended. Btw, my period was very heavy last week. I would consider that a good thing, but since my lining had been so thin, I'm not sure where it's coming from. I'm at a loss for words on that one. I've also been drinking pomegranate juice, eating brazil nuts and taking little walks. I already don't drink caffeine other than the occasional iced tea, but I cut those out completely. I've had one glass of wine per week, just to keep a little sanity.

Back to the brazil nuts. I have no idea if this little ritual works. I'm at a point that I will try and do anything to help my little lining along. Let me tell you why I'm singling out these nuts. I HATE nuts. All nuts. With a passion. I don't like them in anything. Seeds, nuts, pecans, even the kernel in popcorn…yep, that's a nut to me, so I even hate popcorn. It sends people into a tizzy trying to understand this very odd palate of mine. (I also dislike dark soda, chocolate, deli meat and coffee) I realize, I should just leave America now, because I'm obviously from a different world. So these nuts…have been lets say, challenging for me. They make me gag, and even typing out this paragraph and thinking of them, is making my stomach turn. So, it's my big sacrifice for all of this. And that's your fun fact about me for the week. :)

Here's a few pics summing up the past two weeks:


Vivelle Patches suck…my poor tummy looks like a battle field.



I've been trying it all…including legs up the wall pose every night when I get home from work. (thanks to Amanda for the comfy jammie pants)


Which means, every night, my sweet Sidney, joins me on the floor.


And finally…this guy. Who reminds me every day by his love, support and pure awesomeness, that as John Legend says…

"Even though I'm losing…I'm winning"







28 comments:

  1. You are doing great! I can't even imagine everything that you are going through at the moment but please know that I am cheering for you. I will be thinking nice thick fluffy lining thoughts as well friend!

    And the nut part did make me chuckle a bit. :)

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  2. Oh my goodness, your poor stomach! That looks awful! I thought you were going to say you got stung by a bee!!! Poor thing!

    I'm REALLY hoping that you get some good news on Thursday! You are working soooo hard and you really deserve a stellar report! Much love!

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  3. Yep, did the brazil nuts here too...still eating them most days actually. My clinical nutritionist (who specializes in fertility) had me start eating 3-4 brazil nuts per day a while ago, for lining purposes, but also for thyroid balancing purposes. She is just a big believer in how important the whole HPA axis is in regards to fertility and keeping it all balanced in perfect harmony.

    Those are NOT my favorite either...a little too earthy tasting sometimes. I've found that putting them in a small baggie and taking a meat tenderizer to them makes them tastier. You can sprinkle them on greek yogurt or spread apple halves with almond butter/peanut butter and then dip the apples in the chopped nuts. So much better than eating big ole dirt nuggets.

    I'm so stinking excited for this lining check as you know!!!!

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    1. Dirt nugget. You could not have described them more perfectly!! I'll have to try chopping them up. So far I just try to chew them as fast I possibly can and swallow them before I spit it back out. (Which did happen once!)

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    2. Dirt nugget... bahhhh! Y'all are really making me want to try brazil nuts. Really hoping that this pays off because it sounds DISGUSTING! I'd tell you to dip it in chocolate but apparently that wouldn't help either.

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  4. Thanks so much for the update. I was wondering how things were going, and I'm glad to read that the mock is rolling along. VERY hopeful for Thursday's lining check.
    Legs up the wall is a fantastic pose. Good in so many ways.
    I love that you are working on the ecosystem, as you prepare to host and grow your precious embryo(s).
    And why are brazil nuts supposed to be so good? What does selenium have to do with uterine lining? I'm curious.

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    1. I have no idea. Other than I've read it so many places that brazil nuts help with implantation and thickening the lining. So I figured it couldn't hurt.

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    2. if only there was a way to make brazil nuts taste like red wine.

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  5. Gosh, your poor tummy looks sore.

    I've been thinking of you, wondering how you're doing.

    It sounds like you are doing everything humanly possible to make this work. Everything is crossed for you. Keep us posted.

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  6. I've been following your journey and wishing you all the best this week!! I'm a patient at CCRM as well and also struggling with lining issues. We transferred two 5aa blasts back in January and looking back I wish we hadn't because of my thin lining. We've tried for another FET cycle since but my lining was even worse this time so we cancelled. I'm so hopeful for you and sending you all the best! It looks like Dr. G has you on a good protocol. XO

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I've been scouring the web trying to find other ladies at CCRM with lining issues. What protocols have you been on with them? Wishing you so much wonderful success on your next FET cycle. xoxo

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    2. Thank you! I'm crossing my fingers for you for Thursday! I'd love to chat about the protocols. If you have a chance send me an email at 108405bayfield@gmail.com. We regroup with our doctor at the end of this month and I'm going to ask about a low dose stim cycle because my lining definitely did better on my stim cycle compared to the two FET cycles.
      -Caitlin

      I know it's so hard to find others with these issues!! Send me a message at 108405bayfield@gmail.com

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  7. Good luck! I hope you get great results with this mock cycle! Rooting for you!

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  8. Just wanted to pass on a tip that helped me...use eye makeup remover to get the adhesive off your skin from the patches. I will be thinking of you on Thursday (b/c I will also be getting my lining check at the exact same time)! I pray this goes very well for you!

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  9. It looks like things are moving along perfectly!

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  10. I love the photo with your kitty hanging out with you while you're legs are on the wall. My dogs always try to hang out with me when I am excersing on the floor! haha

    I'm so happy to read an update from you and of course I will be sending you tons of good vibes that everything will continue to go well. I want this so much for you!

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  11. Just another option on the food front -- avocado. My chiropractor suggested this as a lining booster/builder for my IVF cycle and cited a study that said women who ate avocado during an IVF cycle were 3 times more likely to become pregnant (sorry -- don't know the exact study). I HATE avocados so I had a smoothie at least 5-6 mornings a week with one hidden in it.

    I will be sending many good vibes to you on Thursday!

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  12. You look awesome! But I'm sorry the patches are so mean to your stomach - I put lotion on as soon as the patch goes off, but maybe I'm just lucky...
    Hoping that, between Fertility Yoga and Brazil Nuts and Viagra, your lining will be beautiful and cushy and home to a beautiful embryo for 9 months!

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  13. Oh I love the pic with the legs up and your little cat! I want this SO bad for you!! I follow someone else who has been massively through the ringer and just had success at CCRM with 1 blast egg donor situation (tons more in the freezer). I WANT THIS FOR YOU!!!

    Where do you by the Brazilian Nuts? Do they go by any other name? I'm all about trying to help my lining too!!

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  14. I will be praying for you sooooo much for great news on Thursday!! XOXO

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  15. I'm thinking of you daily and have my fingers crossed for good news on Thursday. I know how awful those patches are- I just thought I was the only one that was having those same reactions! The itch would get so bad I would have to take them off, I just couldn't handle it! Then I tried another, and it was just as bad. I'm not looking forward to those again!
    Sending lots of love your way, xoxo

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  16. Yowza with that belly! Holy good god! I hope it doesn't hurt that bad! Fingers crossed for that lining.

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  17. wishing you the best with your lining check

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  18. Just wanted to wish you lots of luck at your next appt! I "know" you from a couple different support groups on the web and you led me here to your blog post about Asherman's. I read your ENTIRE blog that day, and I am praying so strongly that you finally have success! You have been through so much and anyone who has been through all that deserves to get what they want!

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  19. Everything is crossed for good news tomorrow. Funny, I too hate nuts, but ate them while I was pregnant as a healthy snack...and I did a ton of yoga and acupuncture. I even ate some jack nasty black ball of goo this Chinese woman gave me. Hit it with everything you've got. You've got grit Suz.

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  20. Thinking of you this morning..... I hope you had great news and are now enjoying your company : )

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  21. Crossing my fingers, saying my prayers, and hoping to read good news about your lining check!

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  22. I know you've been stressed with the treatments that you've been taking, but you have to take heart and heed to your doctor's advices. Just stay positive and you'll win this battle! I hope you'll have great news about your lining check as soon as possible. Take care! :)

    Loura Swader @ US HealthWorks

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