But my hCG level is officially LESS THAN 5!!
On one hand, I'm happy about this. I can put the pregnancy behind me and move on to my mock cycle as soon as I get my period which hopefully, is later this week.
On the other hand, my pregnancy is officially over. My last chance to have a baby with my egg, is over. So yes, that stings a bit.
I guess this is going to be a short update because honestly, I'm not sure what else to say. It's a weird place to be for me, sad that it's come to an end, but happy to move forward.
Cross your arms & squeeze as tight as you can. That is a big squeeze from me. Thinking & praying for you always.
ReplyDeleteI can see why you'd have mixed emotions. It sounds like you guys are moving on with a great plan! I'm cheering for you!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely understand the mixed emotions... Sending you a big hug!! xo
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm really glad that your hcg is now below the threshold. And I know that you will work through your feelings of grief about the loss of the possibility of a genetic child. That's not easy. But you are strong and you will get through this.
ReplyDeleteHugs coming at you and lots of prayers for comfort from above. I'm SO glad that you can move on to preparing for your donor cycle, but I'm SO sad that this pregnancy has come to an end. It still breaks my heart! If I think about it too long, I'll cry, so we're just going to look ahead. : ) Thinking of you sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteXO
*hugs* Suzanne! I'm thinking about you and I take time everyday to say a prayer for you.
ReplyDeleteVery mixed emotions, for sure. Hugs for you Suzanne. Thinking of you!!
ReplyDeleteahh the bittersweet. So much of IF is bittersweet. I'm glad you are no longer in limbo!! Praying that you are filled with peace and TONS of joy and excited for the next stage :)
ReplyDeleteYAY! I'm glad you can move on and move forward. Huge hugs and KMFX for you.
ReplyDeleteI am happy for you that you can move forward, but I understand it is bitter sweet. I see much joy for you on the other side, Suzanne. :) Rooting for day 1!
ReplyDeleteVery bittersweet indeed. :s HOWEVER, You are about to embark on THE protocol that WILL bring you two your baby. Just think about that!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be giving yourself the best chances you've probably ever had in this journey. Once that baby is growing inside you, soaking up every bit of mom surrounding it, that bond is going to be undeniable. Any sadness of not using your own eggs is going to be replaced with pure joy for the life you are about to bring into this world. And once you hold that precious perfect little healthy baby in your arms the day you deliver? FUHGEDDABOUDIT!
You are in my thoughts and prayers..
ReplyDeleteI can see why ur emotions are a bit conflicting about moving fwd. I agree with Em once u feel that baby growing inside of u the though of having to use donor eggs will not cross ur mind. Excited that u can move fwd with ur cycle. Praying that everything turns out well for u.
ReplyDeleteWhew. Closure is always good. So glad that you get to move on to the next steps in this process. Abiding with you...
ReplyDeleteIt's so bittersweet to move from one step of the IF journey to the next, isn't it. It's always hard to close doors with empty arms and pick up the courage to move on. I believe closure it good, but I think it also takes time. Time to let go. Thinking of you as you move on. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're finally able to move on to the next steps - wishing you all the best for a very successful next cycle!!
ReplyDeleteYes, such a mix. The five losses I had, the waiting period was the most excruciating! I'm glad you have some healing (DE) in the works.
ReplyDeleteI nominated you for the Liebster Award!
ReplyDeletehttp://theunexpectedtrip.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/hot-dang-my-blog-won-the-liebster-award/
It always hurt to mourn each phase as you move into the next. I'm sorry this road has been so hard. I hope that your happy ending is just around the corner.
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