I've also dove head first into the gestational carrier world. Not because a decision has been made…but because I'm a planner. Because when our decision has been made…I'm completely informed and ready to say "go".
I still completely plan on going forward with another cycle to give my uterus a fighting chance. To know without a doubt I have done everything, and I mean everything I possibly could.
I want more than anything to carry our child. To experience pregnancy. But if that is not meant to be, I am ready to fully embrace the path of of a carrier.
Like I mentioned before, we have had offers. One was never really an option due to a complication in a previous pregnancy and CCRM's strict guidelines. The other, was an option from all angles…but one.
The legal aspect. She lives in a state that is not gestational surrogacy friendly. This particular state, because of my lack of genetic connection to our embryos, I would have to go through a step-parent adoption after the birth. The same adoption procedure that couples go through to adopt a child…I would have to go through to be able to adopt a child that comes from an embryo that legally belongs to me.
I've struggled the past weeks since speaking with an attorney and an agency to sort out my feelings on this.
I've given up my eggs…I've given up my uterus…this would break my heart to have to go through almost a year of legal hoopla just to be my baby's legal parent. It's too much.
So our option of a much, much cheaper option, may not work. Our other option is going through an agency. The cost is mind blowing. So I'm plagued with guilt. Guilt that my body won't cooperate and guilt that my heart can't give up more than I already have.
So for now…I have all of this information in the back of my head. My Beta-3 Integrin biopsy is on Friday. Hopefully the results don't take long, and I can schedule my regroup with Dr. G.
I also have a tentative appointment scheduled with Dr. March. One of the top Asherman's Syndrome doctors in the country. It would be an expensive route to go, but it won't hurt to have him look at my chart. I'm 50/50 on this and whether not I can go in that direction.
We also are just over a week away from vacation. Not an extravagant vacation…but a trip that involves my husband, some great friends, a very supportive mother-in-law and a beach! So to us, it will be heaven. I can't wait!!