Tuesday, March 3, 2015

OB Appointment - Part 1

A few weeks ago I traveled to Texas to be a part of K's first OB appointment. I was thrilled (putting it mildly) to finally see and hear my babies. To see them bouncing around on the ultrasound screen in front of my very eyes.

Well, lets start by saying my visit with K and her family was amazing. To spend time with her and her kids, I don't even have words for how special it was to me. I am forever grateful for what she's doing for me, but also so blessed to have her as a friend. And wow, is she a busy mama!!



Together we went to her appointment (she was 12 weeks) and anxiously waited to meet the doctor.



From here, it just went horribly bad. Not with the babies--they're great, but with this doctors office.

First, they did a vaginal ultrasound (super quick) and did no measurements on the babies or their heart rates. When I asked about the heart rates she just said, "oh, they're in the 150's". Odd, since I know ultrasounds enough to know she didn't measure it. Thanks lady for just lying to me.

She then proceeded to talk to K and I about the birth. She said we could go ahead and schedule her c-section at 37 weeks. We told her that since K had four vaginal deliveries, she really wanted to attempt a vaginal delivery. She understands that emergencies happen. But why at 12 weeks is there a need to schedule a c-section? The doctor looked at me and told me that if K wanted to proceed with a vaginal delivery I should contact my legal team.

Excuse me!?! Did this doctor just imply that I should legally force this woman to have major abdominal surgery when, at this point, there is no reason? Cause that's what it sounded like, to both of us. She then went on to tell us that only one person would be allowed in the OR. When asked about doing previous surrogacy's, she just said no and she wasn't overly kind or warm to either of us.  She never even mentioned K seeing a MFM doctor at any point in the pregnancy. We're talking red flags left and right here.

Two things K and I are both ready to fight for:

1) T and I absolutely support her wish for a vaginal delivery if possible.

2) K and her husband absolutely want T and I both to be in the OR/delivery room.

K wanted me to be able to see and hear the babies while I was there (for more than 30 seconds) so we scheduled an appointment at a 3d ultrasound place. It was amazing. For 30 minutes I watched them bounce, wave and move around. Their heart rates were both 175! We were even fortunate enough to speak with a midwife/doula while we were there that gave us so much information. On twin births and of doctors that we should consider. One thing she was clear about, the one we had just seen, was NOT for us.

So...we need another doctor...STAT.

The good news...this is the beautiful part of the country that my babies are going to come into the world.




19 comments:

  1. It's a wonder that Dr has any patients at all! I am so glad you did get to see them further though at the other place. It sounds like that went so much better :)

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  2. Wow I am shocked with how unprofessional that doctor was. How rude! I would have thought that at 12 weeks they would go further into the ultrasound make sure babies were growing as they should etc. MFM is definitely a requirement in Ks condition. I'm glad you were able to see your babies at a different place and the midwive was helpful. Hour everything turned out ok and k can find a better OB.

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  3. Maybe time to switch OB's? What a horrible bed side manner and just plain rude and inconsiderate of her.

    Heart rates sound like two little girls :) My girls were always high.

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  4. Oh man that really sucks. It must have taken the wind out of your sails a bit when the Dr. was being so rude!

    So glad to hear the little ones are doing well. I just love reading your updates!

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  5. Wow, that sounds like a horrible experience and I'm sorry you both had to go through that! At the same time I'm glad you got to spend an entire half hour at the 3D place with them! Hope you can find a new doctor who will work with you both and be more open and accepting to your situation! Xoxo!

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  6. This is exciting news Mama. I hate that you didn't have the experience you deserved at the doctors but thankful the dula could give you some great recommendations. Still praying.

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  7. Oh.my.gosh! It worries me that there are doctors out there like this one!!! So glad that you and K are on the same page! I'm excited to hear how this ends!! XO

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  8. So glad you were able to go out there! What a blessing that you are both on the same page. Glad you were able to talk to a different midwife and can't wait to hear about part 2:)

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  9. My concept of Texas is a bit off... palm trees???

    So glad that everyone is on the same page and that you were able to kick that crazy doctor to the curb. Blah!

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  10. That doctor sounds horrible. I hope the search for a new one is short and easy. So glad you were able to see the babies!

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  11. You are absolutely glowing Suz! So happy things worked out and you got to hear/see the babies for 30 minutes! xo

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  12. Definitely a good move to find an OB who can provide a plan of care better suited to the situation both clinically & emotionally. Most OBs I know would absolutely cherish the opportunity to take care of two families in a situation like this. Look for the one who calmly lays out the best plan (MFM consults, etc.) but has a sparkle in their eye because they are excited for all of you.

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  13. yay!!!! so excited for you guys!
    that office sounds like crap!! def switch!!
    <3
    http://insearchofslowflakesembryodonation.blogspot.com/

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  14. Definitely switch! My ob said she refers all multiple pregnancies, especially
    Via ivf to mfm. I was so happy we went. My Csection wasn't scheduled until I was about 25 weeks. You definitely need to find another ob!

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  15. Wow! I'm glad y'all hightailed it out of there. I hate doctor that try to push c-sections without even giving someone a chance to have the birth they want. There is a time and place for c-sections and I'm grateful for them. But they should be used when medically necessary.

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  16. This OB is not surrogate or twin friendly. It's sad that there are OBs out there that won't even try to deliver twins vaginally, especially in a woman with a very proven pelvis! I have to say that I'm old enough that I worked in offices where our dopplers didn't read the heart rate, so you had to train your ear to appeciate a 130/140/150 heart rate, but to say it just by looking, it truly pulling a number out of your ass!

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  17. I'm so behind, but a huge congrats on your twins! So amazing! I hope you guys can find a new doctor, that one sounds awful. We scheduled my c-section maybe around 28?weeks, but even the day-of they checked the babies' positions, to see if baby A had flipped (she did, from transverse to breech!). My doctor was completely comfortable with me delivering vaginally if baby A was head down (even if it meant delivering baby B breech). Anyway, twins are the best and I'm so thrilled for you!

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  18. Um, that OB is a complete and utter JERK!!! I'm sure K will find the perfect OB to respect everyone's wishes and have the birth you all want. I'm so glad you had such a great visit with K!! I'm so happy for you!

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  19. Omg! I hope y'all can look back and laugh on this someday, but seriously how frustrating!!!! I can't believe this doctor is in practice - that is EXTREMELY frustrating. It bothers me that they just want to schedule C-sections to convenience them! PS I mention the laughing because I know the story gets better ;)

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