I know four years ago, I was so hopeful because we were officially "trying" around my birthday in 2011.
The following year, my birthday was one day before our first "would be due date".
In 2013, we found out I was again, naturally pregnant while on vacation the week of my birthday. And within a week, we knew it would end.
In 2014, I had so much hope...because of Kelly. And this year...this year...beyond my wildest dreams we've been given a gift. Three actually. So my only wish now is that they arrive safely in my arms. All of them. But that wish seems so selfish. When there are so many...just wishing for their one.
My true wish this year really goes beyond me. I have wishes for this journey to not just be over for me...but for my friends. For my friends that have gone through the same heartache, hurt and loss that I have. That ache every day to be called "mom". Because they deserve this too. And no matter how much they are hurting, they love me and support me. What is love people ask? That's love. Unconditional love of friends.
So her are my wishes for this 38th birthday:
That my dear friend at Dreaming of Diapers can follow in my footsteps...because we are kindred spirits and have so much in common in our journey. And because she too, deserves a miracle.
That Elena has a successful fourth cycle this month because she too, has worked so hard, and deserves to bring her child into the beautiful home they have built.
That God blesses sweet Caroline with the child that she remains faithful for. Because her love for him is real. Her faith is real. And her prayers deserve to be answered.
That Sarah continues to feel strength and hope in whatever direction she takes to finally become a mother. She's been hurting to long.
That Amber will realize that the loss of her twins is not her fault and that her babies love her, because they know...that she loved them.
That Amanda be blessed with not just Garrison, but a house full of babies for him to play with. Because I know that's what her heart desires.
That Ali should be blessed with another miracle. Because she's such a wonderful mother to her twins.
That JoJo, Jane, Risa and Aubrey have safe and healthy deliveries.
That Augusta finds all the strength and courage that she had through her years of infertility for this new and different road she travels. Because she's kind...and I want her to be happy.
That Pam and Julie C. continue to receive good news.
That Rebekah has a successful cycle at CCRM.
That Julie T. can keep her strength to get through these next few days so that she can push forward. Trust me. I know how hard that is to do.
That all my friends that have experienced losses this year continue to heal. My heart is with them always.
That all the new mom's that have waited so long continue to feel the joy and good health of their long-awaited babies.
That anyone else reading this blog, on this very difficult journey and still waiting and hoping for a miracle can believe...that it can and will happen.
This is what I wish today.
A sweet friend shared this with me today. And it seemed so appropriate.