The TTC Merry-Go-Round

What a rough weekend...that's the best way to sum it up. AF hasn't arrived yet, but I'm 15 dpo and my temps took a nose dive yesterday which means it should come any moment, I'm guessing tomorrow, based on my last couple LP lengths. This upcoming cycle will be my 8th since we started trying after the D&C. I never thought we would still be in this position this many months later.

I had a great Friday night, I guess I'll start with that. Dinner out with my closest friend who knows this journey all to well. We drank a bottle of wine, and I don't feel even the slightest bit guilty. Mostly because I already knew at that point that this cycle was over and what better way to drown my sorrows. We also made plans for a NYC girls weekend which I'm super excited about.

Saturday, I made the mistake of not going with my husband to his volleyball tournament and stayed home all day. HUGE mistake. Being alone all day to stew with my thoughts over this past cycle (and past year) really brought me down and by the evening when T came home, I had a hard time snapping out of it. Not crabby or anything, just felt very...blue. Yesterday was a tad better because we ran errands and hung out together, topping it off with an awesome homemade Mexican dinner. Good lord I love that husband of mine. He's so patient and understanding with my highs and lows right now and I have no idea how I'd get through this without him.

When ever this cycle does officially begin, it will be a non-medicated cycle. I hope to build my lining without using the Clomid and we'll just use OPK's and the Ovacue monitor to baby dance on our own. My first RE appointment (17 days, but who's counting) is on the 23rd and that will probably be a few days after O. I'm also taking this month off of acupuncture. It makes me feel so relaxed, but because I've had so many appointments causing me to leave work and expenses lately, I just want to wait and resume the acupuncture when any fertility treatments begin.

We also decided that we will not be putting TTC on hold or scheduling it around my sister's wedding next June. We're just going to go with whatever happens happens. We can't plan our life around her, anymore that she can plan hers around mine.

This month is insane for me. I've got some work trips, family trips and fun trips planned, but it's a lot of criss-crossing the country. I'm hoping all this will keep me so busy that TTC (at least mentally) can be pushed out of my head a bit. I need a break. I'm really tired of being so sad.

Schedule for the next month starting this weekend:

Los Angeles
Kansas City
New York
North Carolina

That is my next 4 out of 5 weekends!! Holy cow, what have I done?! ;)