She

My daughter

Last Friday we got the results of the Panarama test that looks for risks of chromosome abnormalities. The great thing (and most important thing) is the test came back "very low risk". This was a huge weight off my mind. All I've been able to think about is how bad my eggs have always been. During IVF, past pregnancies, etc. Not to mention the fact that I'll be 38 in a few weeks. So this news was music to my ears. 

Then the nurse asked if we wanted to know the gender. Of course we did...and I waited during that brief pause, knowing no matter what, it didn't matter...then the nurse said...it's a girl...and I broke down in tears.

A few minutes later we were getting an ultrasound and I saw my daughter...my healthy little girl. Not only that, but she gave us the most beautiful view of her. And here I am, 12 weeks and 1 day, and finally, well almost, feeling like this might be real and actually happening. In six short months, I may be holding my three precious babies in my arms. The thought fills my heart with so much love and it's difficult to hold back the emotions that come with that. 

I'm not sure how I could possibly deserve this, and every day I worry about what's to come, is this really too good to be true? All I can do is take it day by day and hope that my three little miracles will all arrive safely into this world. 

My unborn boys are big brothers. It's still crazy to even say that out loud. We have been sharing with our closest friends and family the past week or so and the responses have been amazing. So much love, happiness, tears and of course, a little shock too! We know it's going to be hard...but, it will be so worth it. 

The boys will be 30 weeks on Thursday and will have an update on Friday with how they are doing. Time is flying by and we will also be a month out from when we leave for Texas. I'm so anxious and ready to be there. To see Kelly and her family. And to meet these little guys. So much happy right now, I just pray for it to continue. 

My Loves.

I needed to see them grow.

I needed to know they would both still be here.

They are.

Both of them. Both of my little loves.

With perfect growth and perfect heart beats. They are, well, perfect.

As Monday, we were 8 weeks and 4 days.

Baby A measures 8w3d and Baby B measures 8w5d. Their heart rates were 178 and 176.

I needed to see that growth from our 6 week ultrasound to now to feel comfortable announcing that there are two. That we are having not just a baby. But babies. I've always been okay with just one, but now...now, I want them both with my whole heart.

I hope they both continue to stick around. Cause I really, really want to meet them.

So many of you have asked about Kelly. She's amazing. She's having a lot of morning (well all day) sickness, but she had that with her other pregnancies and she's seriously, the most awesome trooper.

I'm also super excited that in 3 weeks, I'm going to Texas for our first OB appointment. We'll be 12 weeks at that point and I couldn't be more anxious to see them in person!

I've said it so many times before, but maybe I'll have to say it a million more times before this pregnancy is over...I'm grateful. So very grateful for Kelly, for my friends here, for my family and for my husband. It's not easy to be removed from the pregnancy. Luckily, Kelly and I chit-chat throughout the day on most days. I know her cravings and her aversions. I know how she's feeling. I've seen her cute little bump and as of later today, she'll even be recording their little heartbeats for me. So because of her...I am a part of each little moment of their lives from the very beginning...even if I can't be with them.

So yes...infertility be damned. I feel like a pretty luck girl.