Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A real wake up moment

First of all, I want to thank all of you that have commented and wished me well on my last few posts. It has been a rough month and the support from all of you really does get me through. My therapist even said that all of you, even though I haven't met you, are some of the best support systems in the world for me because you are right there with me or you've been there. I sometimes get very busy and have a hard time updating or commenting on your personal blogs, but I want you to know that I read each and every one of your posts on your own blogs. Just wanted all of you to know that and how much you mean to me!!

I've actually been doing fairly well, at least emotionally. Health-wise, I've been a hot, sick mess!! Started as a cold last week and turned into a raging sinus infection. I have been miserable!! I haven't broken down into a puddle of tears in almost an entire week. I'm totally patting myself on the back right now. To top it off, T has been in LA since last Friday for work, so you really have to know what an achievement that has been for me!

Now to the nitty gritty. My asshat, crapster of an RE. I guess I should catch you up. I was told back on December 21st (my last communication with a nurse) to come in on cycle day 3 to repeat bloodwork. Last Wednesday, I did just that. On Thursday, I left a messaged following up on the results. I also mentioned my state of mind (please remember I was at a breaking point last week and this was prior to speaking with my OBGYN) which you would think warranted a phone call fairly quickly. Apparently, it did not.

On Monday, my RE was scheduled to be back in the office from his medical leave. Please remember, he was supposed to call me while he was on leave to discuss my AMH results and I still have not gotten any feedback on that. I waited all day Monday hoping he would call. Tuesday morning I left another message again inquiring about my bloodwork and the fact that he hasn't called me. Another day passes, no phone call. HOWEVER, I did receive my medical records I had requested in the mail which already included my newest blood test results. That's right, I had to read my own damn chart to get my results. Unfortunately, my FSH went up to 18.4. My estrodiol was fine. My DHEA-s was 89. (no idea about how that number is, I'm guessing kind of low)

I called this morning and left another message a tad on the slightly more ticked off side, basically saying that if based on my results they see me as a lost cause, they at least owe me a phone call. Well that did it. Nurse called me back about 10 minutes later. (there voicemail DOES work, fuckers)

In her uber polite voice as if she was discussing the weather, she informed me that Dr. J recommends donor eggs and my next step is the application process. I very politely told her what I thought about there communication skills and hung up.

I LOVE that I asked for the FSH tests for 4 months and they refused. Only to finally give in, they don't like my numbers, after I've spent thousands on their original protocol, and they turn me away without a second glance. (unless I want DE)

Imagine every nasty, awful name in the book while I'm kicking, screaming and stomping the ground. (in a ticked off way, not a sobbing way, which is an improvement, no?!)

The good news is my acupuncture fella recommended the same doctor as my OBGYN, and I have a consultation with him tomorrow morning! My Chicago appointment is in a little over a week, followed by another appointment here in town the week after. Let operation find a new and MUCH better, more compassionate RE begin!!

Maybe donor eggs is where we'll end up. However, one blood test does not warrant me making that huge jump. I need to hear that's my only option from a few more doctors before I'm going to move onto that route.

I owe myself that, don't I??


  1. I am 100% in agreement. ONE blood test does not tell the story. Your cycles can change a lot...Also depending on where your e2 was, it would have artificially raise your FSH etc...I think more testing in needed before you jump to donor- I am very disappointed with how they treated you...Def move on to a different place with better care...You deserve to exhaust ALL your other options before you run head first into donor stuff....praying for you!!

  2. Suzanne, I am deeply sorry for what you are going through. We are led to believe we are going to professional/knowledgeable doctors only to be proven otherwise. I am sorry it took 4 months for them to finally budge with the day 3 testing. But I am extremely glad that you have other doctors/specialist to direct you in the direction they think will benefit you. Hoping both upcoming appts are a better experience. **Hugs**

  3. Ugh. I cannot believe you had to wait 4 months to get CD 3 testing (and that other testing done). That was like the FIRST thing my RE gave me when I went to her. I hope you get better care elsewhere. As for DE... it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'm glad you're seeking a second opinion!