So I had a freaking fantastic weekend in Chicago!
It started off with a positive OPK, so we gave that our best effort. Trevor surprised me with tickets to see The Book of Mormon which was hilarious. It was dirty and raunchy and I loved it. I laughed for 2 hours straight. I highly recommend it.
Afterwards we went to Girl and a Goat a restaurant I've been wanting to try for a year. I met every expectation I had. Simply fabulous and probably now ranks in my top 3 best meals ever. Yes, I ate goat, and it was GREAT!!!!!!
We hit a movie and just enjoyed walking around (freezing) Chicago.
My appointment was 9 am on Monday. I was so nervous. Literally. Like upset stomach nervous. At the doctor's office. So not cool.
This office was like a well oiled machine. Not like the small offices I've been to Indy. I mean they had so many people working there and shuffling you from department to department. The doctor took his time with us and was very thorough and offered lots of explanation.
Unfortunately he didn't have a magic pill to help my crap FSH/AMH numbers.
However, what he did say was interesting. He didn't seem to see the "perfect" IUI cycles that Dr. J and Dr. W saw. While yes, there appeared to be multiple follicles he was the first doctor to tell me that my estrogen levels were very low. In his opinion the were so low that it was highly unlikely that I was ovulating more than one follicle. This making me question staying on the same protocol that I've been on with the low dose meds.
Basically my options are going to injectibles only plus IUI to try and increase the amount of follicles or moving to an antagonist protocol of IVF to maximize the amount of follicles. His thought is that based on my age (35), the quantity is the bigger issue vs. the quality. So really, the direction we go was really up to us.
With the large jump in the dose of FSH, most likely from 75 units per day to 450 units, the cost is really going to increase. We're paying completely out of pocket and have decided that it makes more sense to move right to IVF rather than continue to do IUI's and basically end up at the cost of IVF after a few more rounds.
So there we are. We're moving on to IVF with the doctor in Chicago. I felt like he really understood, as much as anyone can, how to work with someone with DOR. We can start bcp's as early as next cycle, but I have to figure out some scheduling things to see if that's really an option. My sister is getting married in June and I'm hosting the bachelorette party on the east coast in March. I have 2 separate trips scheduled for her wedding. I think trying to time in between those weekends will only cause me more stress. I have an email sent to the doctor to get his thoughts on waiting until March to start the bcp's, which would mean April would be the fun stuff.
I don't know if this will work or how many rounds of IVF we will do. I do know that I need to try. The doctor also believes that we need to try. For now I'm going to trust that and if we need move to donor eggs, we'll do that.
The good news is that if I response poorly, they will turn it into an IUI cycle so that all is not lost. That was "somewhat" comforting.
I did worry for a few weeks that T would rather be with someone else that he can have a bio baby with. After telling me that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever said, he told me that he married me. If we have kids, that's great. If we do donor eggs or adopt, he'll be thrilled. If we spend the rest of our lives with each other and a house full of cats and dogs...he'll love every minute. I was grateful for that answer and think I needed to hear it (no matter how ridiculous the question) in order to feel peace with whatever happens.
Now, that said, I reserve the right to scream, rant and cry during any subsequent cycles that end with a BFN.