Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What's next?

So I had a freaking fantastic weekend in Chicago!

It started off with a positive OPK, so we gave that our best effort. Trevor surprised me with tickets to see The Book of Mormon which was hilarious. It was dirty and raunchy and I loved it. I laughed for 2 hours straight. I highly recommend it.

Afterwards we went to Girl and a Goat a restaurant I've been wanting to try for a year. I met every expectation I had. Simply fabulous and probably now ranks in my top 3 best meals ever. Yes, I ate goat, and it was GREAT!!!!!!

We hit a movie and just enjoyed walking around (freezing) Chicago.

My appointment was 9 am on Monday. I was so nervous. Literally. Like upset stomach nervous. At the doctor's office. So not cool.

This office was like a well oiled machine. Not like the small offices I've been to Indy. I mean they had so many people working there and shuffling you from department to department. The doctor took his time with us and was very thorough and offered lots of explanation.

Unfortunately he didn't have a magic pill to help my crap FSH/AMH numbers.

However, what he did say was interesting. He didn't seem to see the "perfect" IUI cycles that Dr. J and Dr. W saw. While yes, there appeared to be multiple follicles he was the first doctor to tell me that my estrogen levels were very low. In his opinion the were so low that it was highly unlikely that I was ovulating more than one follicle. This making me question staying on the same protocol that I've been on with the low dose meds.

Basically my options are going to injectibles only plus IUI to try and increase the amount of follicles or moving to an antagonist protocol of IVF to maximize the amount of follicles. His thought is that based on my age (35), the quantity is the bigger issue vs. the quality. So really, the direction we go was really up to us.

With the large jump in the dose of FSH, most likely from 75 units per day to 450 units, the cost is really going to increase. We're paying completely out of pocket and have decided that it makes more sense to move right to IVF rather than continue to do IUI's and basically end up at the cost of IVF after a few more rounds.

So there we are. We're moving on to IVF with the doctor in Chicago. I felt like he really understood, as much as anyone can, how to work with someone with DOR. We can start bcp's as early as next cycle, but I have to figure out some scheduling things to see if that's really an option. My sister is getting married in June and I'm hosting the bachelorette party on the east coast in March. I have 2 separate trips scheduled for her wedding. I think trying to time in between those weekends will only cause me more stress. I have an email sent to the doctor to get his thoughts on waiting until March to start the bcp's, which would mean April would be the fun stuff.

I don't know if this will work or how many rounds of IVF we will do. I do know that I need to try. The doctor also believes that we need to try. For now I'm going to trust that and if we need move to donor eggs, we'll do that.

The good news is that if I response poorly, they will turn it into an IUI cycle so that all is not lost. That was "somewhat" comforting.

I did worry for a few weeks that T would rather be with someone else that he can have a bio baby with. After telling me that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever said, he told me that he married me. If we have kids, that's great. If we do donor eggs or adopt, he'll be thrilled. If we spend the rest of our lives with each other and a house full of cats and dogs...he'll love every minute. I was grateful for that answer and think I needed to hear it (no matter how ridiculous the question) in order to feel peace with whatever happens.

Now, that said, I reserve the right to scream, rant and cry during any subsequent cycles that end with a BFN.

16 comments:

  1. I've been waiting for this blog post!! I thought about you all day yesterday and I'm super glad that the meeting with the RE in Chicago went so well. He really seems to know what he's talking about and I don't think the worry is IF a BFP, just a WHEN and then WHEN really on the wedding plans since I am sure your first IVF cycle will be your last one as well. I am very happy to continue following you in your new path. *hugs* I'm also glad that in general you had a great weekend, I know it was much needed!! My DH says the same as T, you really can't beat an awesome guy.

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    1. So sorry it took me so long to update. It has been a CRAZY couple of days. I knew everyone was wanting to know how it went though. So lucky to have so much support!!

      Cheers to the best husbands EVER!!

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  2. Your blog wasn't showing up in my reader, but I just fixed it! Yay! I know I just emailed you, but again, this is great. I am so excited that you guys have a PLAN. You will get pregnant. You will be having a baby. You will have your happily ever after. All the love in the world to you.

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  3. It's such a great feeling to know that there are DRs in this world who aren't afraid to be honest. Seems like you are in better hands with this Dr. You will get your BFP I believe in that and you should too. I have had the same question in regards to DH being with someone who cannot give him a biological child. After so many years if he hasnt left yet then he is in it for the long run.

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  4. Good luck to you! I'm so glad you have such a wonderful, supportive husband.

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  5. First off, totally jealous you saw Book of Mormon. I've always wanted to see that! Yay for a fantastic little getaway in Chicago.

    I'm super excited you got a fresh new eye looking at your past cycles and estrogen levels. Sometimes you just really need a fresh pair of eyes! I really hope that you get pregnant this cycle since you ovulated this weekend, but if not...you have an IVF buddy in me. I am on CD4 today and NOT starting BCP's this cycle. We are still waiting for our genetic test results and I'm getting an HSG this week. However, I do think we may proceed with IVF on our next cycle, so that will put us pretty darn close to each other. I think you are making the right decision by not trying to run into IVF right now with all the wedding stuff. That just wouldn't feel right, and you'd be totally stressed. You need to be back home, relaxing, the whole time you do IVF if you can be.

    Isn't it nice to know you can try something with greater chances for a successful pregnancy now? What a relief! It's scary yes, but exciting at the same time! I'm excited for you two!

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    1. LOVE that we'll be going through a lot of the crazy IVF process at near the same time. Lets double team this whole DOR thing and kick it's ass!

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    2. We aren't starting IVF again until March. i'm glad the three of us will be cycling close together. Hopefully we can all celebrate BFP's together!

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    3. Woot woot! I am so thankful for you ladies, and excited for us. We are about to lay a triple threat smack down on infertility! Hoping for the very best for both of you! :)

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  6. I am loving the vibes I am getting from you right now. It seems so exciting that you have a new plan. Sounds like you seem refreshed. I agree with Emily, not rushing in to IVF is probably a good choice. Sounds like IVF takes all you energy and it would be smart to do that when you can be home relaxing! So exciting.

    Your husband sounds wonderful. I had the same fear going into this and my husband said the same thing. He said I was enough if that's what our future holds. And he was just as happy with anything else in between. It's nice to have that stress gone.

    I have my HSG next week. Although I called to schedule today and the lady at the desk wouldn't schedule it and said she was going to have the nurse call me back. Hopefully it's just a formality and not bad news with any tests I've already had done. I'm staying positive with the "formality" reasoning! Yay for your exciting new plan!!

    What movie did you see?

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    1. Mentally I'm feeling a ton better. I think the initial diagnosis stage was just a really rough patch, but I'm ready to face this and get through it now!

      Good luck with your HSG. I'll be stalking your blog to see how everything goes. Why nurses have to confuse us with their jargon, I'll never know.

      We saw Zero Dark Thirty. It was intense, but we really liked it.

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  7. I am so excited for you! I kept checking your blog on Monday and Tuesday waiting for the update :) That is so awesome that you had such a positive experience with the new dr. Who knows, God may have something completely unexpected in store and this month without meds could be it! If not, I'm sure your first round of IVF will do the trick and you will get your sticky baby in no time :)I think it's really smart to wait until after the wedding stuff to start. It will give your body a little break and will hopefully help you de-stress a bit so you will be ready to go when you start the process.

    (I hope it's ok I'm commenting. I found your blog awhile back and it has been such a comfort knowing that I'm not alone on this insane roller coaster of ttc!)

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    1. Thanks Sara!!! I really appreciate the sweet comment so of course it's okay!! I plan on checking out your blog when I get a few minutes of downtown. On one hand I hate that so many people have to go through IF, but at the same time, it's great to have such wonderful people to go through these tough times with. :)

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  8. Suzanne -

    I remember when we were both so hopeful that the ovacue could work for us - and now it has been almost a year and my husband and I are moving onto IVF too. We have our appointment Feb. 4th and will hopefully go on bc in March and stim/retrieve/transfer in April. We could be going through it at the same time! I finally started my own blog too (Although I have no followers yet lol). You inspired me since I have enjoyed reading yours so much :)

    Dee
    http://childoftheuniverse88.blogspot.com/

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  9. I'm so glad you had a good appt in Chicago. Kinda frustrated that my doctor didn't suggest turning our IVF into an IUI cycle when I didn't respond. But I guess that would've just been more out of pocket money and maybe he didn't think it would work anyways. Regardless, I'm glad you will have that option.

    And now I want to see Book of Mormon!

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  10. It sounds like you found a great doctor! I'm so excited to hear about your upcoming IVF. My brothers getting married in JULY, who knew it stressful to be a family member.

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