Today is a happy day.
Yes, today I leave for Chicago to join Trevor for the weekend as he continues to work out of town and Monday is our big appointment with the specialist there.
Today is happy for a different reason. A special person gave me hope today.
It's crazy how people come into your life. Whether it's meeting friends through work, mutual friends, at a bar, a church and even online. Online dating has become a HUGE market. I met my husband when I moved into the apartment above him, but I have so many friends that met there significant other through online dating. So what about friends online? We stay so guarded of our identity, but then, what about the people that you randomly come across that are meant to be a part of your life?
We all go to sites like babycenter.com and post questions and comments and little by little you start to recognize names and similarities. Whether you share the same diagnosis, have been trying to conceive the same amount of time, or even share similar stories of the pregnancy that did not turn out as we hoped when we first saw those 2 pink lines.
We share stories about "baby dancing", cervical mucus, aunt flo (I still hate that term) and how we made it through the anxiety of that first injection into the belly. Yet we only know first names and that's only some of the time. We rarely know what one another even looks like. We would never share the intimate details to the people we know in "real life", at least not to many of them. They wouldn't understand. What happens is these people that I come to know as their blog names and screen names become the core of my support system. They become my friends.
Then there is the few that you take a step further. You start by sharing your email. You email daily, maybe up to even 15-20 times a day, which is insane. How I've gotten anything done at work this past year, I'll never know! Then you take it another step, and you share phone numbers so that we can text little bits and pieces of our cycle and feelings on the fly.
Maybe it even progresses to a simple phone call when she is stressed and doesn't know who else to call, because only I would understand. And that lifts your heart, because she thought that much of you to be that person she leaned on.
Then does it even turn into Christmas cards, Facebook friends, special gifts that arrive in the mail. You wonder over those 8 - 9 months. What will happen when one of you find out that you finally beat this awful infertility game. How do you tell the other? How do you respond? How will I feel?
Today I can tell you. I feel pure joy. I feel hope that my time will come and this proves it. I feel love for a friend that I've never met face to face, but will be in my life forever. That, I have no doubt.
Enjoy your moment my dear, dear friend. Today is your day and I am beyond happy for you. The tears that run down my face as I type this, are the tears we all wait for. The happy ones.