After talking ourselves blue in the face, countless lists of pros and cons and sleepless nights, we have decided to go with CCRM. It's more expensive. It's the place where many people go as a last resort. Are we really ready to go here right off the bat?
The answer is yes. The chances of success are 20%, but that's twice as much as our chances in Chicago. We don't want to do a round in Chicago, only to have a failure and regret not going with CCRM from the beginning.
This was a very hard decision for us. Unlike many women going to CCRM, we don't have an IVF to compare to. We don't know how I'll truly respond to stims. We only know that I responded "okay" to low doses for my two IUI's last fall, and can only assume I will be a poor responder due to my <.16 AMH level. There is just so much of an unknown for me.
I've gone to countless websites and driven myself mad over the positive AND negative comments for CCRM. At the end of the day there are going to be both, I know this and need to embrace the decision we've made and know that no matter what happens, it's the best and the right one for us.
We do know that we can only do a maximum of two round there. The cost is so high, that we can't do IVF after IVF just to have failure after failure and then turn to donor eggs. We will have to draw the line somewhere and for us, that's at two. Obviously, this can be revisited if I have some crazy successful rounds that just for some reason don't result in a pregnancy, but the odds of that are, lets be honest, not really good. But hey, throwing that out there as a disclaimer regardless.
On to the when. That's a fucking sore spot. I'm on cycle day 49. My beta on Monday was 9.25. So to summarize:
March 12 - 10.6
March 14 - 10.2
March 18 - 9.25
What does this tell me? My body is basically giving me the middle finger on moving this cycle along so I can get started. Seriously, in no rush whatsoever. I was told I don't need to repeat betas again since they are in fact coming down and that I should expect a period next week. At the rate these are dropping I'm going to call bullshit on that and say a period is at least two weeks out.
Oddly enough I have had some ovary type pinching pains on one side today and my temp dropped a bit. I used a Wondfo OPK and the test line was darker than the control line but the CBE OPK was negative. I was given the old "tsk tsk" on Baby Center to just stop monitoring and sit this out, ovulating or not.
So big sigh. Here I sit.