Thursday, March 21, 2013

A Few Deep Breaths...

After talking ourselves blue in the face, countless lists of pros and cons and sleepless nights, we have decided to go with CCRM. It's more expensive. It's the place where many people go as a last resort. Are we really ready to go here right off the bat?

The answer is yes. The chances of success are 20%, but that's twice as much as our chances in Chicago. We don't want to do a round in Chicago, only to have a failure and regret not going with CCRM from the beginning.

This was a very hard decision for us. Unlike many women going to CCRM, we don't have an IVF to compare to. We don't know how I'll truly respond to stims. We only know that I responded "okay" to low doses for my two IUI's last fall, and can only assume I will be a poor responder due to my <.16 AMH level. There is just so much of an unknown for me.

I've gone to countless websites and driven myself mad over the positive AND negative comments for CCRM. At the end of the day there are going to be both, I know this and need to embrace the decision we've made and know that no matter what happens, it's the best and the right one for us.

We do know that we can only do a maximum of two round there. The cost is so high, that we can't do IVF after IVF just to have failure after failure and then turn to donor eggs. We will have to draw the line somewhere and for us, that's at two. Obviously, this can be revisited if I have some crazy successful rounds that just for some reason don't result in a pregnancy, but the odds of that are, lets be honest, not really good. But hey, throwing that out there as a disclaimer regardless.

On to the when. That's a fucking sore spot. I'm on cycle day 49. My beta on Monday was 9.25. So to summarize:

March 12 - 10.6
March 14 - 10.2
March 18 - 9.25

What does this tell me? My body is basically giving me the middle finger on moving this cycle along so I can get started. Seriously, in no rush whatsoever. I was told I don't need to repeat betas again since they are in fact coming down and that I should expect a period next week. At the rate these are dropping I'm going to call bullshit on that and say a period is at least two weeks out.

Oddly enough I have had some ovary type pinching pains on one side today and my temp dropped a bit. I used a Wondfo OPK and the test line was darker than the control line but the CBE OPK was negative. I was given the old "tsk tsk" on Baby Center to just stop monitoring and sit this out, ovulating or not.

So big sigh. Here I sit.


  1. Hi. I came across your blog yesterday. I'm sorry that you also have to deal with DOR!

    Congratulations on your decision to move forward! I'm looking forward to follow you along and learn more about the protocol at CCRM. We're currently undergoing our first IVF which isn't looking promising so I'm eager to learn more.

    Good luck to you!!!

  2. I'm so glad that you guys made a decision that you're comfortable with. Praying that this cycle gets a move on and.... maybe we really will cross paths in Denver at some point :)

  3. I'm really glad to hear that you made a decision. And I'm glad that you chose CCRM too. I don't even know you, but I want the VERY best for you, and CCRM seems to be the very best. (We have a phone consult scheduled with them in May.) I am really hoping that you'll be on the positive side of that 20%. It can happen. It totally can.

  4. sorry you have had to be faced with decisions like this...It sucks, but I think you made the right one! I was faced with a similar situation back a few months ago, and chose the opposite, and regretted it dearly...You are in GOOD hands there too! FX and Good luck! many thoughts and prayers!

  5. I'm sorry that you're stuck in limbo waiting for your levels to drop, but I am so excited that you made a decision and are about to move forward. I think it's great that CCRM has such a higher success rate, I think every little bit helps at this point. It sounds like you will be in great hands at CCRM, I'm praying that this is it for you guys :)

  6. So glad to hear you guys came to a decision on what to do, and I think it's also really smart that you talked about your expectations and limits ahead of time on how many times you will try with the clinic. Now if that darn hCG will just drop it like it's hot, you can get the show on the road. I'm glad it held off long enough for you to make a solid decision though, and you weren't forced to decide what to do on the BCP front so quickly. You were bought some time, but now it's time to get gone hCG! Suzanne's got a baby to make!!!

  7. I have heard nothing but great things about CCRM, so I am very, very hopeful for you. They seem to be the creme de la creme of DOR. I am hoping all it takes is one round for that beautiful, perfect baby. It can happen even with .16 AMH. It really can. I am so sorry that your body is doing this to you now. I hope the HCG starts dropping quicker so you can get AF and then get the sticky BFP. *hugs*

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