Sunday, March 31, 2013

Finally, At Peace

Thanks so much everyone for the kind words of support on my last post. It felt so great to have so much positive reassurance. I will admit, I can send myself into a tailspin over just the smallest decisions, so a decision that cost as much as this one, really was not good for my poor delicate heart.

However, I've felt a kind of peace these last few days that I've not had in a long time. I don't know if this IVF cycle will work. However, I also can't say that going to CCRM would work either. I finally feel like I'm able to lay it all on the line and handing my trust over to my doctor and his staff, and it's been a great weight off of my shoulders. So I know that for now, for this particular cycle, this is the very best decision for both of us.

A few of you asked about Trevor and how he felt and if he was supportive. The man doesn't have a unsupportive bone in his body. He's been a rock star about all things fertility. He's agreed with me, shared his thoughts and talked out ever scenario, every step of the way. While he did like CCRM and their stats, he also does like the idea of doing at least 1 round, in Chicago. Logistically it's easier and I believe as I learn more about this process, and how the hormones will affect my body, easier, is probably better. If I become an IVF pro, maybe more complicated will make sense at that point.

I do have one exciting (to me) update. I spoke with my doctor in Chicago about my protocol. While he plans to do the antagonist protocol with fairly high dosages of meds, CCRM was planning on doing an aggressive EPP protocol with testosterone. My doctor in Chicago has agreed to let me add the testosterone to my protocol with him. Small battle one. I've heard really good things and he did say that it has shown a small improvement and is something they do when they are pulling out all the stops. (Um, like me? Lets remember, I have some pretty bottom of the barrel AMH numbers) He said it would cost me an additional $700 though.

I tried to not choke on that, not because of the cost, but because $700 in the grand scheme of things, is kinda peanuts.

Well, here we go...I've officially started my journey into IVF. I'm 2 days into my birth control pills. I will start my injections on April 23rd, with an estimated retrieval on May 4th.

Here's to hopefully keeping the hormones in check and not turning into a raging bitch over the next 2 months!!

This was technically my sisters last hurrah, as it was her bachelorette party, but I'd also like to think of it as mine as well. Here's a picture from our great weekend at Wrightsville Beach!!


Anyone ever heard of a "pickle back"? Well, I hadn't either. This was me about to experience on for the first time. VERY strange, yet, not as bad as I was expecting. It's a shot of whiskey followed quickly by a shot of pickle juice.

17 comments:

  1. I love pickles, so the pickle back sounds awesome!! I have to try it sometime! Where do you get the pickle juice just from a jar of pickles?

    I am so glad you are feeling at peace, this is how you know you are doing what's right for you. I am following every piece of your journey and I'm so excited for you. To a BFP!

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    1. We had them at a irish pub and they poured the pickle juice from a giant tub of pickles!!

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  2. It was great to read this post because you really do sound at peace with everything...and excited about this process too. I'm so glad.

    Abiding with you in this...

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    1. Thank you. Your comments are always so supportive and kind. I appreciate you so much.

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  3. Oh just wait until the Texans hear about this pickle back thing. They'll be all over it! Your eyes are beautiful in that picture btw. :)

    I'm so excited for you to begin your IVF journey. I shouldn't even call it a journey because it's going to fly by so fast you won't even know what hit you. There is a lot to be said about simplicity, and I'm glad you feel so content with the decision you and Trevor made together. I have a really good feeling about this!!!

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    1. Thank you Emily!! Very sweet compliment and I'm hoping that this first round is all it takes, for both of us!

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  4. Omg that pickle shot sounds horrible!!! But I sort of want to try one now, ha ha!!

    I'm so happy that you and your super supportive hubby are at peace with your choice for next steps. I'm glad things are moving forward and that you're on your way to becoming a mommy!! xoxo

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  5. Supportive husbands (or spouses) are such an important part of this infertility puzzle. I need to try this pickle shot. My interest is piqued!

    Side note: I usually read your posts on my iphone so I never see your actual page. Today I am on my computer and I LOVE YOUR PAGE!! Your photo at the top is the sweetest! What that professionally done?

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    1. Thank you so much!! That was a picture from our engagement shots. :)

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  6. Lol! It's funny you mention the pickle back shot because my DH has tried it. The only difference is that they mixed the shot with the pickle juice. They finished the whole bottle so I took it as it was a great taste to them.

    It truly does seem like ur at peace with the decision u made. I am glad you don't have any regrets and can move fwd bein optimistic about this IVF cycle. I pray and hope this is the only IVf cycle u have to go through.

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  7. so excited for you and your IVF journey. :) FX!

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  8. I'm so glad that you are at peace with everything, it makes such a huge difference!

    The pickle back thing sounds absolutely horrible, but then again, I hate pickles lol. Growing up my sister used to pour pickle juice into wine glasses and drink it, so I will definitely have to let her know about those. I'm sure she will LOVE them!

    Hope you're having a great week!

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  9. what a crazy marathon this truly is. I'm so sorry that it's been so hard for you, and that it continues to be an uphill battle. I hope that the next cycle is THE one.
    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and posting such a supportive comment. I appreciated it so much.
    It was very hard to keep up hope while in the trenches, but it is so worth it now. I hope you get there soon.

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  10. Oh, who gives a CRAP if you turn into a raging bitch! You deserve to be! Hope everything goes as planned my friend!

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  11. I'm so happy to hear you are at peace with your decision. It sounds like the consult with CCRM gave you some more information to help advocate for your health and the best possible protocol. In the end, that is the best we can really hope for. So excited that you are well on your way. Missed my pills because AF came early while I was in Mexico so I'll be about a month behind you!

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  12. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. Wishing you the BEST this cycle.

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  13. You can really learn a lot from your first cycle of IVF. I think you made the right decision to try one cycle at home before moving on. I hope you only need one cycle though ;) Best of luck on your journey!

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