Monday, June 24, 2013
Moment of truth time
I've taken a little mental break this past week. I've not been as active on threads and I've even gotten behind on some of my blogs. I've tried to catch up the past 30 minutes as we fly somewhere over Kansas.
We should be in Denver around 9:30 this evening. We'll be there for 21 hours. I feel like CCRM has such a reputation and so many people put their heart and soul (and bank account) on the line as a last resort. I certainly hope it's worth it for us.
I do even know what I want them to tell me. Do I want them to say, "just kidding, we totally think you have a shot at your eggs!" or at this point, do I just really want to hear that I can be successful with donor eggs.
I've had such a fear this past week that I'm going to hear that I need to give up. That it's not going to happen and I need to ready myself for a child-free life. I turn 36 in two weeks. I will officially have been trying to conceive for two solid years.
As we were boarding our flight today (Southwest--free for all boarding), a man and his daughter approached us and said that she would be flying for the first time alone. She's 13 (almost 14--because at that age, it's cooler to round up than round down, just wait youngster) and all I could think to as we sat in our seats, ready to take off, was that her father saw my husband and I and thought, they look like the kind of people that I can ask to watch out for my daughter...sit with her, help her with her bags. It may be silly, but at the same time, it was a nice feeling. I also hope one day that I have a teenage daughter to sit and chat to like this little girl. She's a cutie pie.
My trip to Santa Monica was great. I was super busy and loved staying on the beach and being able to walk to my office every day. I look forward to going out there more often as our office takes off at that location. It's a nice getaway from reality.
This weekend my sister is getting married. She's 10 years younger than me and it's hard to believe.
Can you tell? I'm trying hard to hope for tomorrow, but think of anything but infertility...
Okay, CCRM, here goes.