Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Reflection on 2 years

This post isn't about what you least for the most part. 

Today I reflect on my marriage. Which regardless of our infertility, has been pure happiness for me. We waited a long time to finally get married and when we finally did, it was perfect. Every. Last. Detail.

It was on the smaller side, less than 75 our our close friends and family. Many of them traveled from all over the country to be a part of our day in a small town in North Carolina where I grew up. We had a backyard "pig pickin" on my dad's farm for our rehearsal dinner, that many would consider a disaster. Complete with sideways rain under our tent, a giant pig carcass on a grill, 50+ people crammed in my dad's house because of said "sideways rain" and a great little bluegrass band stuck behind the living room furniture, continuing to play on. There was nothing but smiles and good times regardless and I still get compliments today on our wedding weekend, especially that rehearsal dinner!

After 10 years of dating, I finally got it all and was so excited to start our lives together.

We've obviously gone through many struggles these past few years. A miscarriage. The devastating diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve. And now the realization that our journey may be taking us one step further, to donor eggs. Some have asked if our marriage has been strained recently.

It has not.

We've gone through every step of this as a unit. Together. It's made us stronger. We laugh together. We cry together. We get angry together...but never at each other, only at fate that has dealt us this very unfair hand. We pray that we were given these challenges because we are strong enough to get through them and come out even better.

So Happy Anniversary, love. Thank you for being my best friend.

This picture pretty much sums up how happy I was that day...

The only thing that I am sad about that he's in New York and we aren't together. But look at what arrived for me this morning!!!

Looking forward to our official celebration when he gets home on Friday! 

As far as where we are going from here...we have a plan...kind of. We're just not quite convinced it's the right plan yet. We contacted CCRM and had them add the donor consultation to our ODWU on June 25. We've booked flights. We've booked a rental car and hotel. 

For some reason we aren't convinced though. If we are doing donor eggs, is CCRM the right place? Could we have results just as good going somewhere closer and less expensive. Hopefully we get some clarity on this soon. Right now, we're just feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to go or what to do. 

The next few weeks will be very busy for us. With T in NYC this week...I'm going to Santa Monica to work from our office there all next week. While I hate being away from him for so long, I'm looking forward to a change of scenery. He also believes working next to the ocean will do my soul some good. Let's hope. 

The following week is CCRM (I think--I reserve the right to change my mind on this at anytime) and then flying to North Carolina for my sister's wedding all in the same week. Taking on a bit much?? Probably. 

However, the week after that, we leave for Anguilla. 

We'll be reliving the days of our honeymoon...and look how well that turned out!! 

That's in 23 days, because, yes, I'm most definitely counting.


  1. Happy anniversary, my friend! I will be living vicariously through your vacay... I can't wait!

  2. Happy Anniversary!!! I'm sad husband is away, but it sounds like you guys have some fun planned very soon!

    As far as the plan: I think any information you can get at this point is great! THEN you can make the best decision for the two of you! I'm excited!

  3. Happy anniversary! Enjoy all of your travels, especially NC (I'm an NC very biased). :o)

  4. Happy anniversary! It sounds like you two are a match made in heaven! That is so important through all of life's challenges!

  5. Um, I honestly don't think you guys could be any cuter!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! I love your beautiful wedding pictures and seeing such a big smile on your face :)

    I'm excited for you for your ODWU at CCRM. I'm also really interested to hear how the egg donor consult goes while you're there. Yay for next steps. Sometimes I feel like it's so hard to go through what we have to deal with because of infertility, but once you get to the point where you're ready to take the next step, it's a little, dare I say, exciting. (Honestly, NOTHING is exciting about infertility. Ugh!). Anyway, where are you staying out in Colorado??

    Enjoy Santa Monica! I'm jealous :) xo

  6. Happy anniversary! I love the pics of you guys, ya'll are SO cute together! I hope that you have a great trip to Anguilla. That will be so nice for you to get away for a bit and just reconnect and spend time together away from everyday life. I know whatever decision you make will be the right one for you guys.

  7. Doing anything near the ocean, even if it's working, is good for the soul. Smart girl!

    Your pics are beautiful and your wedding sounds just as perfect. You two have had so much to wrap your brains around lately, but the silver lining is your amazing marriage. I can tell that you guys have that really truly rare and special kind of marriage that not many people on this earth get to experience. I am so happy you have each other! Bring it Anguilla!

  8. Happy Anniversary Suzanne!!! I am so glad you guys have such a beautiful and strong marriage. You 110% reserve the right to change your mind at any time and I am wishing the best at your consult. I'm so glad you guys planned an awesome trip to Anguilla, it is MUCH DESERVED and I hope you guys have a blast! Love you girl!

  9. Gorgeous dress, you are so pretty!!!!! I'm glad you have such a happy, loving marriage. You deserve all the happiness in the world! I know you two can get through anything together, and you will have your miracle baby soon :) xo

  10. Happy anniversary, Suzanne! You and T are darling. We are so lucky to have amazing partners on this journey. I hope the Cali sunshine lifts your spirits.

    Having just been through it, I still think it is worth going to the ODWU at CCRM just to see if it is a fit for you. Regardless of my experience, I still think they are the best and there is some comfort in that.

    Plus having a plan just feels good. Can't wait to hear all about Anguilla! Take lots of pictures.

  11. Beautiful post. Happy Anniversary to you and your husband.

  12. There is just so much good here.

    I love that you have a plan. I knew you would come up with one right away and that it would be a damn good plan. And it is. I'm sure there's lots of grief and confusion and uncertainty that comes along with it, but it looks like you're headed in a good direction.

    Also, it sounds like it is going to be an intense month - but in such a good way! Taking the next steps in your fertility journey, the wedding of a dear one, and an amazing vacay. Yay!

    Lastly, you have a very handsome husband. That just makes everything more manageable, doesn't it? (-:

  13. Happy anniversary! This was a post that brought happy tears to my eyes. Your wedding pictures are beautiful and I am just in awe at your marriage. You are truly an inspiration. And I agree with Em, you have a handsome husband ;)

    Sounds like a great plan, full of business and hopefully some answers.

  14. I love this happy post! You guys are amazing and have an AWESOME time on your trip. I'm super jealous!

  15. Happy Anniversary!! Oh you look beautifully happy in your wedding pics. Time spent by the beach is a must, I bet you will feel a sense of relaxation. Hope your trip to Anguilla is everything you imagine. Hoping that your consult at CCRM gives you a better perspective of what you want to do next.

  16. Happy Anniversary! You guys are a beautiful couple. Good luck with everything you have coming up and have so much fun in Anguilla!

  17. Happy Anniversary! And I just wanted you to know how helpful your blog has been for me...I too had a miscarriage and am dealing with subsequent's a terrible road, but I have to agree with you...if anything, our marriage is stronger because of it all. Have a great weekend!

  18. Happy Anniversary to you and your awesomely supportive DH. You guys are one good looking couple :) I'm so happy to see that IF has made your relationship stronger. That is a diamond in the rough for sure. Enjoy the beach and your trip :)

  19. This is such a wonderful post. Happy Anniversary to both of you, and good luck on your journey towards your family!

  20. Happy belated! What a joyful post. You make a great couple and you are gorgeoussssss!

  21. Great article this is very informative .......keep posting Thanks Regards
    interiors company in dubai