Several things have happened since my short little post last week.
Might as well start with the most important. I'm now in Florida. I went from frigid, wintery blah-ness, to 70 degrees and sunshine. Boy was that needed. Nothing worse for an already sad mood, than cold, grey weather. We'll be here until next Friday. The only thing that would make this week better, is if it were just T and I. Unfortunately, his family is too. (Don't tell him I said that) They're great. I love his mom, but the aren't always the easiest to be around, especially during already trying times.
The next is my current RE never called. I only received my AMH levels because I called the nurse. I understand that he was having surgery last Monday, but he still said that he would call later in the week. Now the nurse is saying he'll call me when he's back after January 7th. With the whole test fiasco (that I didn't need--ha!) you would have thought they would have been falling over themselves. Obviously they aren't, since they're completely content to let me sit and stew with my crap >.16 for another 2 weeks with now explanation or plan. I went to him because he was supposed to be the best in my area. Right now, I'm wondering, exactly what makes him the "best". The only person I personally know that has a baby with his help, was done by DE and he made the exact same mistake with her as he did me. A little fact my husband pointed out when he asked "who do we know that had success with him". Unfortunately, I don't live in a city with a lot of options. I'm sure he's a very good doctor. But, seems like he's a little more into stats than really trying to give ALL his giving his patients a baby.
Which leads me to my next bit of news. T is in Chicago in mid January for work. So, paid hotel for a week. I had planned on joining him over the MLK weekend, since I have that Monday off. Did a little research on doctors that specialize in high FSH and came across the Fertility Clinic of Illinois. I called them on Friday and I had the most pleasant experience I've had to date (since MAY!) with an RE. How sad is that!? That really should say a lot. So I have an appointment for a second opinion on January 21st. Not to say that I'm going to necessarily leave my doctor. He certainly has the next few weeks to come back and surprise me. I hope that he does, because while I'm more than willing to travel to Chicago (3 hour drive) it certainly would be easier here in town.
I know that this doctor could tell me the same thing, you need to move to donor eggs. I'm prepared for that, if that's what we need to do, but I need to know for sure. I need to know that I've tried what I can and everything that makes sense to have a biological child between my husband and myself. I certainly am not going to throw a ton of money at something that has little chance at working.
It's been a lot of very emotional moments the past week and a half. From full on heaving sobs to just sitting and staring into space, to a few really sweet moments with my hubby that I am able to smile. I know I'm just grieving and these are all stages of that. It's just hard.