Saturday, April 13, 2013

Tis the story of my (infertile) life.

Yet another road block has emerged.

I've been so concerned about over suppressing as everywhere I look (thank you, mr. google) it says that bcps are not good for DOR patients. I talked my RE into only 2 weeks of the pill and I had my u/s and blood work yesterday.

Well, we aren't starting the stims next week. My ovaries apparently have to much activity. My estradiol levels were 205. I hadn't even thought about it but this coincides with my really sore boobs and ewcm that I've been having. Related? The nurse said my body isn't suppressing.

So I have to continue taking the bcps for at least another week. I'll go back in for another u/s next Wednesday or Thursday and will potentially have to continue on the pills even longer.

Well this has me pretty stressed out on so many levels. Now I really am worried about over suppressing. WTF is going on with my body?! I haven't had a period since February 1st...have I mentioned that lately?

I've been googling like crazy. I can find women that over suppress, but I can't find out what were their findings at the end of the bcp? What should they be if I'm DOR and I weren't on the pill? How will I know if I over suppress? Will I know before I start stimming, or is this something I'll find out mid way through the IVF cycle? I just have so many questions, so many concerns and on top of all that...

I'm fucking frustrated.


10 comments:

  1. Hugs. I'm sorry. This is the craziest journey I've ever been on.

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  2. Ok, I'm just going to say it. "STEP AWAY FROM DR. GOOGLE." ;)

    You are such a smart women for being your own advocate and reading up, but I just don't think you are going to find ONE answer on the internet. When it comes down to it, the only way to know if your protocol will work is to try it. One of the hardest parts of IVF is really putting the control in the hands of the RE making the plan. That is what you are paying them the big bucks for! It sounds like they are doing testing to find exactly where that sweet spot is for you in being suppressed, and they aren't just going at at it blindly guessing. They have to make sure you are suppressed enough, or else what will happen when they stim you is that the follies won't grow uniformly in size or at the same rate. That part is so important!

    Another blog friend of mine was just as scared as you of being overly suppressed, and she kept bringing it up to her RE, who finally kind of altered her plan to make her more at peace with it. Guess what ended up happening? Her cycle was cancelled, because she ended up having a couple lead follicles growing way faster than the rest, and there weren't enough follies all in the same size range to consider it a successful retrieval. She actually admitted later than she should have just listened to her RE and not pushed on the idea of limited BCP's. The next try she went along with the RE's original plan, did BCP's longer and didn't have this issue and had a successful retrieval!

    I know it's different for everyone obviously. This is only one example. I just really want to encourage you to let your RE work his/her magic. I'm willing to bet this isn't their first rodeo, and there is something very freeing about putting the decision making into the experts' hands. It might even end up better than you could have ever expected! If you try to dictate your plan and it doesn't work, then what? What kind of regrets will you have? Definitely voice your opinion, bring up examples and scenarios you are concerned about, ask questions, and have them explain the why's of what they're choosing to do with you. But then, just try to let go a little if you can. They care about your success!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I think it's the delay that has had me so stressed more than anything. It's been since November since I've done any treatment, so I'm just READY!! Hearing good stories helps more than you know. xo

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    2. It's so hard to wait around and feel like you're standing still, but you are almost there! Once your cycle starts it's going to fly by!

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  3. I'm sorry you're frustrated love. I was over suppressed and my cycle got cancelled. So I know you're just trying to save yourself the pain and regret. My doc believes it was because of the Lupron. I believe it was the Lupron AND the BCPs. But we aren't doctors. And even 2 out of 5 doctors would disagree on the reason or protocol. So much of this process is guess work because we are all so different. But I do believe that at a certain point (like once you're already headed down a path), you need to just trust and not stress yourself out. I wrote a post this morning about stress and how much havoc it cause in your life and health. I'm with Emily. Stop googling. Hugs!

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  4. I'm so sorry that you're so frustrated (understandably so!). I agree with Em & Jessah though - try not to google (even though that's exactly what I'd be doing, too!). I've had cycles with BCP's and cycles without BCP's and I have DOR and I've never been over or under suppressed - maybe that will give you some hope? That said, I totally know how frustrating and disappointing (and scary!) it is when you're so beyond ready to start a cycle and then you have some sort of road block that delays it. I'll be thinking of you and am hoping that you're ready to go after this next week of BCP's! xoxoxo

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  5. I totally agree with Emily. You have a very good RE that you trust and are comfortable with and I think it's time to put down Dr. Google and instead just trust him and his plan and just go from there. I know it is so hard when you've been in control for so long and you have everything riding on this working. The cycle isn't shot at this point and I am praying hard that it won't be. *hugs* Hang in there and good luck!

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  6. Ughhh! This sounds so frustrating! And I have zero help or advice as I don't have DOR nor have I ever done IVF (or injectables for that matter). But I do want to say I'm sorry this is so hard, I'm sorry for the delay, I'm sorry infertility has to be a part of your life. BIG HUGS!!!

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  7. As you know I too have DOR.

    My RE put me on the standard long lupron protocol. The exact protocol I've read so much about that wouldn't work for DOR. I was scared to be over suppressed. After my first scan things were looking shitty. Not much response. But we would keep stimming. It took me 14 days of stims get to the trigger shot. But I got there.

    Nobody knows how your body is going to react. You just have to try it. DOR means you'll most likely have less eggs to work with but it doesn't mean that the eggs you've got won't respond to the meds.

    Other protocols might be better in regards to suppression BUT you may end up with a lead follicle which will cause a lot of other problems.

    Try to trust your RE! He chose that protocol for a reason.

    Wishing you the best of luck!!! Hang in there!!!! IVF is a tough emotional roller coaster!

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