Monday, April 29, 2013

You Win Some...You Lose Some...

Relax & Rejuvenate

This weekend I did everything in my power to shrink my pesky little cyst(s). I had a most fantastic massage. Splurged and did the whole hour and a half. It was amazing. I did a therapeutic, so we went over what's "ailing" me, and she went to work. She even massaged my ovaries and my reproductive points around my ankles. Though anyone that rubs my back for almost an hour is pretty much in my will.

Thanks to a little Eat Love Procreate advise, I also got busy with my castor oil packs and picked up some EstroDIM. I even reduced myself to 5 days of drinking apple cider vinegar in my water. Not a fan, but hey, I'll do whatever at this point. 

Down to Business

My husband and I spoke for a long time (over margaritas) about what to do about CCRM. I think I jumped the gun a bit on Friday, but I felt like, it's cycle day 2, I have to call or I'll lose my chance. That's okay, it got us to really look at the big picture. How many IVF cycles do we plan to try? How many could we try if we went to CCRM? How many could we do in Chicago? Because those are very different answers. Obviously CCRM is leaps and bounds more expensive than Chicago. They obviously have better stats. If my odds had been better with them when I had my phone consult, this may have been an easier decision. But they did not give me the great odds that they are known for. I have to remember that. So not only did we decide to put off the ODWU for now. We decided to put it off for several cycles. I won't say for good, because well...I've been known to change my mind. There really is no point in spending that much money for duplicate testing (maybe not all, but most) and not cycling there. 

My RE has been amazing. My nurses have been amazing. So while, yes, my head tends to point me to CCRM every so often...my heart is with Chicago. I really feel like they want this to happen as badly as I do. I hear frustration and sympathy in their voices each time I speak with them. They are so incredibly kind and compassionate and I'm going to simmer down and stick with them as they have me. 

The Fantastic News

I was not sure what would happen at my ultrasound today. However, if by some miracle I was ready, I would have to start injections tonight, so my meds were shipped on Saturday and they arrived today. Wow.

The great news...my insurance covered all but $850 of this mighty stash of drugs. This FLOORED me as I thought I was 100% out-of-pocket. Apparently I have some prescription benefits, which is awesome!! We may have just found our vacation fund. 

The Shit News

You knew it was coming. My ultrasound today showed that my cyst went from 12.5mm to 11 mm. My estradiol went to 133, up from 123. My HCG even is not at 0. It's less than 5, but they want it less than 1. My progesterone was 2.6. I am not at an optimal place to move forward. I knew this. I've known this since Friday. It's not what I wanted to hear, but I also want this IVF cycle to have a good starting place, so...it is what it is. 

I have 3 weeks off. No more blood draws, no more ultrasounds, no more waiting for nurses and doctors to call. I have 3 weeks of quiet. After the past couple months I'm unsure of what I'll do with myself. I guess I'll pull out the old BBT and OPK's and give this month an honest effort. What the hell, huh?? 

So my blog for the next 3 weeks will be about planting flowers, spring time weather and baby dancing. 

Cheers.

15 comments:

  1. What an awesome surprise on your amazing price for all those meds!! I'm almost on my TWW so we'll blog about spring together! I am so rooting for you and know your time is coming!

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  2. Holy moly… $850?!?!?! That's CRAZY! Crazy awesome that is! Hope you can have a restful and productive three week break from all the stress of doctors and needles and such! Hugs!

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  3. Tell me more about castor oil, estroDIM and apple cider vinegar!! So glad that your head seems to be in a good place about all of this. Follow your gut and follow your heart :). And, hoping for a three week "break" that leads to great success!! xoxo

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  4. That is so awesome that insurance picked up most of the tab. Never thought you'd be so happy to pay $850 for drugs, right? LOL! Seriously though that IS good news! As for you u/s, I am just really sorry. I think your body just didn't recover from the pregnancy and it's a shame you are still dealing with it. I'm glad you feel good about your clinic and I'm excited for your break. Def try naturally and hopefully you can squeeze some fun in there before IVF begins.

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  5. Sorry for the bad news, that is frustrating. Yay for pulling out the therm and giving bd the old fashioned way the old college try... ya never know!

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  6. Awesome that it covered so much!! Sometimes it's insurance actual does help ;)

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  7. Wow, that's a lot of drugs!! I'm glad some of it was covered :) I think you made a good decision to stick with Chicago. I did my cycles in Mexico because we could only afford one (maybe two) here in Canada, and I can afford as many as I want in Mexico. (If I wanted to keep trying IVF, which I don't)

    I'm looking forward to your posts about gardening. I wish I had a green thumb but I really don't. Maybe I should try this year...

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  8. Sounds like your theraputic time went swell. I can definitely say taking a break from all the phone calls, appointments, needles has been a relaxing time for me. Hope this just adds to your rejuvinating time. Sometimes our body just need a little break from all the tension.

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  9. Damn girl you just hit the infertility meds lottery! That is a LOT of Gonal F (same amount I used on my cycle) and that stuff is ridonculous expensive. I think you seriously saved about 80% off of what you would have paid OOP.

    Sorry the news on the estradiol and hCG were craptastic, but at least you have a "break budddy" over here if you want one. My DH said to me the other day, "I feel like we should be doing something, going to a doctor's apt. or something." Ha! It's so weird to take a break, but we're trying on our own too this cycle. Hey 1-2% chance is 1-2% chance I suppose! Besides, it's been nice to have wine and sex whenever we want. I hope your break time ends up being just what you need to give your body AND your mind time to really get back to a fresh start...or a BFP shocker!

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    1. $7402 to be exact for those meds!! CRAZY! Here's to hoping some wine and good old fashion sex can really get us going...1-2% be damned!!

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  10. Hi! I'm a new follower. :) When you say Chicago, do you mean Chicago-IVF?

    P.S. That is a crazy amount of meds. :/

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    1. Hi Stephanie! I actually live in Indianapolis, so I differentiate the two clinics I've seen with cities. Chicago - (FCI) is my current RE and who I'll be doing my IVF with. CCRM - Denver is who I've had a consult with. :)

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  11. wooo hooo!! score on the drugs!!! I can't wait to hear how your journey goes when you finally get to start! xxxx's fingers crossed!!

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  12. That is awesome about your drugs. Mine came to $3500 and then when they didn't work...it was like throwing all the money in the trash bin. I hope you're enjoying planting flowers and taking a 3 week break.

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  13. Yay for insurance stepping up to the plate! What a fantastic surprise! I don't know why but I got super choked up when I read "we just found our vacation fund." I think it's because you SO deserve it.

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