Friday, April 26, 2013

It's Almost Laughable At This Point

Do you ever sometimes want to cry and laugh at the same time. Cry because, well, the situation sucks. Laugh, because, well, I should have known things would just continue to get worse before they get better. I mean...what is rock bottom?? Surely...I'm there.

This post is going to make no sense. It makes no sense in my head, so please bear with me.

I posted on Wednesday that my E2 had gone back up so Tuesday was my last birth control pill. When I spoke with my doctor, he assumed I'd get my period over the weekend and we'd do a baseline on Monday. Well, it definitely arrived yesterday, making it cycle day one. So I was told I could go in this morning for the baseline and blood work. I knew that chances were I have a cyst and that's been causing the crazy estradiol numbers and surely they hadn't come down that much since Wednesday. But, in I went.

I was able to find out before I left that the ultrasound showed the following:

Right Ovary - 12.5mm, 9mm

Left Ovary - 4.6mm

I knew at that point, this cycle was toast. No way I had follies that big on cycle day 2!! I knew I wouldn't get confirmation on the blood work from my doctor until this afternoon, so in the meantime, I got a little idea. There is no way, I'm going to sit and twiddle my thumbs for ANOTHER month. No way, no how. What I can do, is schedule my ODWU with CCRM. That way, I could get all my tests ran, still decide to stick with Chicago if I want for one IVF, maybe not, but regardless, my testing would be done. Because if Chicago failed, we were heading out to Denver anyway.

So, I pulled the trigger. ODWU is next Friday. All I wanted to do was to wait for my RE to call to confirm what I suspected to book my flights.

They just called. The RE's notes said "No baseline, repeat Monday".


I could tell that last night when I told them I was on cycle day one, they were a little skeptical that I would already have started. So are they thinking it isn't a true cycle day 2 baseline? I can confirm with anyone interested that this has been the heaviest 2 days that I've had in 6 months, so for me, there is no doubt. So, if I have a cycle day 5 baseline, is it really possible that those size follies/cysts whatever they are will go DOWN during the early follicular phase?? I would think that no matter what it will be to late to begin stimming. Am I wrong?

I did send my RE an email asking for some major clarification. I need to decide whether I book flights to Denver or not...still leaning towards it. The more information I can get the better at this point.

So I guess I need some advise, opinions, first hand knowledge, or maybe I just need a drinking buddy because of the ridiculousness of it all???


  1. I can't offer any experience and probably not even give helpful advice.

    All of this just seems very odd. As far as I understand you are definitely not downregulated. I would also *think* that it is unlikely that the follies will shrink at this stage of your cycle. But I don't really have a clue. Just my feeling.

    I think at this stage I would book the flights to Denver. It seems like CCRM keeps finding a way back to you. I think you should listen to your heart. If it tells you to go, then go.
    Good luck!

  2. Oh,you poor thing... I wish you had at least an answer as to what's going on with your body right now! But.... I think that booking your ODWU was a smart move. Like you said, it can't hurt to get all of those tests out of the way. Can you hold off on booking flights until Monday once you know more?? I wish I were closer to you, because I would for sure be your drinking buddy right about now!! xoxo

  3. I'm so sorry! What the heck is going on!?!?! How can you be in the middle of your flow and have follicles that aren't cysts? I'm obviously not as educated as I thought I was. Can you do your ODWU at CCRM on any day of the cycle? Do you think doing the tests during a crazy, wonky, weird cycle will affect the results? I'm sorry I'm no help; I'm just throwing out questions hoping it will help.

    Having very little info, here's what I would attempt to do: go in Monday for the baseline round 2, ask LOTS of question. If you can't see your doctor, bug the heck out of your nurse until you understand what's going on. Decide about the effect any of this would have on your ODWU. If none, book flights regardless of your decision to go with Chicago.

    I'm so sorry this is happening! Try to enjoy your weekend!

  4. Wow! I am scratching my head at your body. I don't know what is happening here and heck, not even sure your RE does either. I def think you should keep your flight to Denver and head out 'cause right now you need answers. You have been waiting for freakin' ever to get this show started and it needs to happen soon. *hugs* Following you and praying hard that this gets resolved soon.

  5. [Big sigh]

    I don't understand. I'm just so sorry. I really, really agree with Amanda's advice above. Considering how confusing all of this is (maybe even for the doctor too), I suppose you want the best in the biz, and from everything I've read, that's CCRM.

    Keep us updated...I know you will.

  6. I agree with you that those must be cysts. I don't know how they could be anything other than cysts, but then again you never tested your hCG down to zero either right? Is it even possible it took that long for hCG to drop to zero completely and your heavy bleeding is the first bleed following that? Is that even possible?

    I don't know. I just think if it were me, I would be doing warm castor oil packs on my abdomen every single day for like an hour at a time to just reduce any possible cysts and move whatever lining you have on outta there for a fresh start. I swear by castor oil packs for cysts. You could also take a supplement like Standard Process SP Greens (full of DIM) to move out excess estrogen caused by cysts. It will also cleanse your system so it definitely can't hurt....basically just like eating pounds and pounds of broccoli when you take those.

    I think hold off on booking your flight to Denver until you have your apt. Monday if possible? I know it's hard to stay patient, but if it's possible they actually answer your questions, then maybe you won't be so antsy to fly out to another clinic so fast?

    1. We are holding off until after Monday. I think I'm just losing my mind at this point. Can I do the castor oil pack while on af????? Cause I'm all over it if I can!!

    2. The only reason they usually say to start castor oil packs after AF is because it "gets things moving" so it can make you bleed more than you already are. If you want to avoid that, then you can certainly wait a day or two if you want. However, if that is not an issue for you, then by all means it won't hurt anything. They just help to release things that are built that can be your lining or cysts or lymph....lots of stuff. Not sure if you've ever done them, but this is the video that I like on how to...

      I just lay the warm castor oil soaked cloth over my belly, then put a layer of saran wrap, and then a heating pad on top (longer lasting heat). They are so relaxing too! Listen to some soft music and just veg out. Love them!

    3. Thank you!!! I used them for my last IUI, but that was the only time. I wasn't sure why you couldn't use them during AF. I know what I'm doing tonight!! My hCG was never tested to 0, but I know it was tested yesterday and they didn't say anything about it. I had an AMAZING massage today and she focused on the "reproductive" points. I feel fantastic. I also picked up some DIM supplements, might as well give it my all between now and Monday! Thanks for the advise!!!

  7. Suzanne, girl, I'm so sorry. :( I have no advice, no experience, and no ideas of what could be going on :/ But, I do think some of the above ladies gave some good advice.

    I feel like everyday I could laugh and cry at the same time. It's a bittersweet feeling!

  8. My heartaches for you. I swear lately I have been so emotional when hearing bad news from us "infertiles". Its difficult to hold back tears when things like this happen. I agree with Em, castor oil packs are thee best!! Theyre so relaxing and it always makes me feel better after doing them.

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