Friday, May 25, 2012

Cycle bust or just really delayed?

Either way, I'm pretty frazzled. As of cycle day 16 I've had no signs of ovulation. Odd for me. I know the Clomid can cause later ovulation, but I can't help but have that feeling that this cycle isn't even going to have a fighting chance.

I've felt so down this week. Just that zoning out, staring in to space kind of down that I can't snap out of. I know my husband is worried about me. I don't want our whole life to revolve around this journey, but I don't know how to turn it off either. I thought the 2ww was torture. This is the first month that waiting to ovulate has been even worse.

We don't have a lot planned this weekend. I'm not sure that is a good thing or not. I tend to crawl in to my hole of self pity when I spend too much time at home, so I'm hoping we can find a good balance of things to do and relaxing at home. Hopefully, just maybe, ovulation is still around the corner and we can spend the holiday weekend trying to make a baby.

One can hope.

6 comments:

  1. Suzanne, I'm so sorry you feel down this week. These cycles are nothing but waiting. I hate it! I hope hope hope that you end up ovulating later. Though I know that was not the desired effect you want the Clomid to have. :-( I saw your note about speaking with your doctor. Did he/she seem concerned?

    I e-mailed my doctor this week. I suddenly had a million questions about spotting, LPs, ovulating, etc. She had a nurse respond to me and said I should either call the triage hotline or make an appointment to see her. Bah. I know she probably won't do much for me until I reach the six-month mark, so I guess we'll see how it goes. If I spot again, then maybe I'll call or go in. Though I'm sure I'll get the standard "it's normal to have weird cycles" speech.

    We're in full DTD mode. Tonight we're going out to celebrate our 12-year wedding anniversary, so hoping that the husband isn't too taxed just yet for another night of totally scheduled sex (snicker). It's SO hard to keep up the schedule, but I'm so freaked out that we'll miss the window. But of course, last month we went gangbusters and it didn't do any good.

    Definitely do what you need to do to stay in a good frame of mind this weekend... like you said, a mix of low-key home time and maybe a few things to get you out and about. I know I have to force myself to do that or I'll spend the whole weekend in my way-overpriced-but-bought-them-anyway J.Crew Saturday pants and not talk to anyone. When I need to wallow, I fly under the radar. It's for the good of everyone.

    Here's hoping that your O makes a fashionably late appearance and that your holiday weekend can be spent dancing. :-)

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  2. Happy Anniversary!! We celebrate our 1 year in a few weeks and then we celebrate 11 years together a few weeks later!! We were just slow to the whole married part. ;) What better excuse for some spicy bd'ing!!

    My doctor didn't seem concerned at all. He was like "sometimes ovulation doesn't happen and we'll up your dose, but it could still be early". Great, I kind figured all of that. Oh well, it was nice that I left a message for the nurse and my doctor called me back. On the positive side, I made an appointment with an RE!! The first available appointment was August 23rd. I think I'm okay with that though. That gives me 2-3 cycles on the Clomid with my obgyn, and if still no BFP, the appointment is there. It's a plan. I like plans!

    Another good thing is that my fertility monitor shows peak fertility tonight. So we're heading out for dinner (and wine--to heck with it!) and a little dancing of our own!

    Enjoy those JCrew pants. I also have a fav JCrew pair of lounge pants that will see the light of day throughout the next few days!

    Have fun tonight!

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  3. Thank you, Suzanne! We had a fabulous dinner out. I ate the best ricotta gnocchi with brown butter cream sauce and seasonal veggies. For dessert, buttermilk beignets with a milk chocolate center and vanilla bean anglaise. Heaven!!

    I love plans! And lists! :-) So smart to have the RE appointment already lined up in case you need it. That way you don't have to wait any longer than you have to if things don't work out in the next few months.

    Woot!! Hope you enjoyed some wine and dancing last night! I think today is my last high day, so hoping to sneak in one last time. Sigh... Not sure if it will make a difference, but it will just make me feel better (for now). Haven't really felt any O cramps like I normally do, so already thinking this cycle could be a bust. The OPKs and fertility monitor don't do me any good if I'm not Oing!

    OK, I think I need to be on a shopping lockdown. Sprung for the jcrew sandals. Time to stop shopping the catalogs and shop my own closet!! ;-)

    Hope you guys are enjoying the weekend!

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  4. Your dinner does sounds heavenly!! I'm really starting to think that you and I have a lot more in common than just the struggles we've gone through TTC! Shopping taste, food taste...I'm very glad I "met" you!!

    Never got a positive OPK, but my monitor and my temps have rose, both indicating ovulation. I also had O cramps yesterday, so I'm feeling pretty good that I'm officially 1 dpo! Are you 1 or 2 dpo? I'm happy that we'll be able to get through these next 2 weeks together! Hopefully, we can do this without shopping!! :)

    Hope the rest of your weekend has been as fabulous as your Friday night!!

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  5. Waiting to O is the worst! My cycles have been crazy since my D&C last Aug, then second miscarriage in November. I ovulate anywhere from CD15 to CD31 to not at all...it's awful!

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    Replies
    1. Hi M--Thank you for your comments. I love connecting with other gals struggling with the same issues. I'm so sorry for your irregular ovulations and I hope that the doctor gets you on Clomid to help with that pronto! There's nothing worse than feeling like a cycle was wasted. It's probably one of my most frustrating battles. I'm so sorry about your miscarriages. Here's hoping that we can all get a sticky BFP very soon! Have a good weekend!

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