I got a little bit of good news last Friday. After a bit of concern on my part, due to probably way to much googling, I had reached out to my RE last week about possible over suppressing on the bcps, as that is somewhat common with DOR. They agreed to have me come in this Friday to do a baseline. If I'm suppressed, I'll stop taking the pills a week early. If things look good, everything moves up a week.
That's great news. I'm ready to move on and get this started. The past few weeks or even months have been pretty all over the place emotionally. I wish I had more confidence. I wish I knew if I'd respond. I find myself looking at donor egg options more and more. I hope it's not a hunch that proves to be right, but in my gut is telling me that's the route we'll need to take. I don't know that Chicago, CCRM or anyone can really fix the numbers I've been dealt. The fact is, as many DOR women that have become pregnant, not many (if any) of them have my numbers. It's a scary reality that I'm facing that this may not be a winning battle for me. It's a hard thing to swallow. I'd love nothing more than this IVF to be the perfect storm to create a lasting pregnancy. I'm trying to hold onto a small amount of hope and faith.
My step-sister had her baby last Thursday. I'm very happy for her, but I'm sad for me and what I had always hoped for. I grew up taking care of everyone else's babies. I even babysat well into my mid-twenties. I've always been the girl drawn to them. I knew without a doubt that T and I would be awesome parents. T is the "get on the floor and play with anyone's kids" kind of guy. The guy that makes googly eyes at random babies in the grocery store. How is it possible that we are where we are?
Well...it begins soon. I'll try and remain positive and will post as many updates as I can as this process gets moving.
Yay! Hoping Friday's appointment goes well! Lets get this show on the road! Hang in there Suzanne!ReplyDelete
It is such an uncertain time when you start IVF. Will I be on the right protocol? Will I even respond? Will my cycle be cancelled? Do I have any good eggs at all? WILL IT WORK???ReplyDelete
Just breathe. Try to remember that this is what we pay these endocrinologists the big bucks for. I also hope you won't put all of your stock into "the numbers" as far as AMH, etc. I'm glad you found out you have low AMH, because that will help them choose the appropriate protocol more easily. However, don't let those numbers rule your mindset. I am not completely sold on AMH being THE predictor of success.
I was very worried about being overly suppressed also, which is why I was happy they chose the Microdose Flare. But then, of course, half way through the cycle I was all worried I was going to ovulate early or something because my ovaries weren't suppressed enough on a full dose of Lupron! Ahhh, we will always find something to worry about. In the end though, I responded better than I expected, had more retrieved, fertilized and might even have some to freeze. I have DOR too!
My advice...Make sure your RE knows all the info about your case when choosing your protocol and ask them to justify their choice of protocol. Ask ALL of the questions you have. And then, just follow dr.'s orders and have faith that you will respond beautifully! I will definitely be here cheering you on the whole way!!
Hang in there, Suzanne! I feel like once you start the cycle, you'll feel a little better because then you'll actually see what's happening and how things progress. It's so hard before things have really get going and it's totally normal to have all of those fears about your response. xoxoReplyDelete
I agree with Em & Aubrey. Sometimes it scares us more to walk into things with so many what ifs. But its just that fear of the unknown. Its difficult to go through something when it is all new to you. Just have faith in your RE.ReplyDelete
I love that your RE listens to you! You had a concern and he took it seriously to check it out. That is awesome! I think it sucks to be here, to struggle for something you know you deserve. You know this is a road you never should have seen or known, but in the end you and T will absolutely be parents and have your LO and you won't let a minute pass you up without appreciating all of it. *hugs*ReplyDelete
Praying, praying, PRAYING for the perfect storm. And isn't that always how it is - the people that seem to want it the most, the people that are going to be great parents - have to wait forever. I really hope that your forever-long wait wait ends soon.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much! Your comments are always so sweet and mean so much. :)Delete
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